Chatting in Internet. Rules for communicating with people: easy and effective How to learn to communicate with people psychology
With the advent of humanity, a huge need for communication arose. Even in ancient times, without it, it was impossible to warn a fellow tribesman, express your sympathy to a woman, teach children how to survive and hunt, passing on your knowledge and skills to them. Today we have a clear system of symbols through which we can say absolutely everything we think. But even in modern society, some people experience communication difficulties and do not always know how to overcome them.
Peculiarities
From birth we begin to learn a language that we subsequently speak throughout our lives. However, the ability to pronounce sounds in the correct sequence does not mean that we possess the art of communication; this can be compared to onomatopoeia. A person speaks when his words make sense, when they are used with some meaning in a specific situation.
As a person gets older, he has to communicate more and more. His successful socialization in kindergarten, the ability to “settle in” at school, and the degree of success at university and at work depend on this. When communicating with peers, it is important to try to become an interesting interlocutor for them, to be able to attract attention. Adults should see you as a worthy opponent, a person with whom it is pleasant to deal.
But being interesting enough for everyone is difficult, and for some, this goal can be almost unattainable. There are several factors that prevent people from fully communicating:
- Personal complexes and self-doubt. In this case, the person simply does not believe that he can interest someone in a conversation, and does not dare to express his thoughts and ideas.
- The opposite phenomenon is heightened self-esteem. Such people put themselves above others. Those around them do not understand them and do not seek to make contact with them.
- Active use of social networks. Online communication can cause fear of real meetings and self-doubt.
- Poor intellectual development. A small set of knowledge narrows the range of topics on which a person can communicate, so he quickly becomes bored with him.
The role of communication
Communication has always played an important role in human life. As soon as people learned to communicate with each other, it became important to be able to construct a dialogue correctly, to please the one you like, even to verbally punish the offender. There are so many different factors in a person’s life that need to be able to control and subjugate that without proper communication skills nothing may work out. In addition, the consequences of failing to communicate can even have a negative impact on your life.
Success at school or university is not only due to a pleasant appearance. For the most part, “popular” people know how to communicate while keeping attention on their personality. In work and in personal life, speech is also important.
At work, you may not be promoted, even if you deserve it, simply because you are unable to successfully establish contacts and conduct business negotiations. In family life, you will also not be able to avoid problems if you do not learn to find a common language with your partner. If you don't have common topics to talk about, or you can't resolve controversial situations and find a compromise, the relationship may crack.
All modern society is based on the ability to correctly construct speech and communicate with others. Famous politicians, scientists and artists would not be so famous if they could not command the attention of a large number of people with just one word.
Therefore, if you want to be successful and happy, it is important to learn to communicate with people, correct your speech deficiencies and improve in this area.
Ways to achieve efficiency
In modern society, the ability to conduct a conversation correctly is an important aspect. In the process of communication, interlocutors perceive each other, exchange information, personal and business interaction, and search for solutions.
If you have not received public speaking skills by nature, you should not hang your nose and give up. You can learn the ability to speak beautifully and achieve the desired results in a conversation on your own. The main thing is to know what is required for this. For effective communication, it is important to break down the communication process into components and specifically work through each of them:
- Gaining self-confidence is an important point. First of all, to learn how to communicate normally, you need to start respecting yourself. You must confidently express your thoughts, even if they are wrong, because your point of view has a right to exist. It will be clear to your opponent that you need to be taken into account, that your judgments make sense and can be listened to.
- Try to cope with fear. Many people who lack self-confidence behave passively in dialogue. They are afraid to ask questions, be interested in anything, or express their opinions, so as not to bring down the indignation of others. They are afraid of judgmental glances and possible unpleasant comments addressed to them. Don’t be afraid to conduct the conversation in a way that suits you, ask about everything that interests you.
- Treat your interlocutor with respect and tact.. Do not interrupt the speaker, give him the opportunity to speak fully, even if you do not agree with his arguments. Only then calmly express your opinion.
- Try not to be distracted by extraneous topics. The ability to express your thoughts beautifully and competently, while speaking to the point, will allow you to quickly earn respect in society.
- You must be able to inspire confidence in your interlocutor. To achieve this goal, you need very little - just look into your partner’s eyes. Eye contact makes it easy to establish a connection. If a person lowers or hides his gaze, his behavior is not always perceived as a sign of embarrassment. More often this is regarded as insincerity or even a lie. Such a conversation will not bring you anything good.
- It is important to show genuine interest in the interlocutor. When talking with someone you don’t know well, you need to give him the opportunity to talk about himself and express his thoughts. Don't talk too much. A monologue can quickly tire a person, and he is unlikely to want to talk to you again. You need to make the person feel at ease in your company. Interest in the conversation should be mutual. Remember to use your opponent's name. This nuance will also show your interest in him.
- It is also important to be able to ask the right questions. This is especially necessary if you are just getting to know a person and want to learn more about him. The art of asking questions correctly makes it possible to receive full, detailed answers instead of a restrained “yes” or “no.” This way you can make the conversation light and interesting, allowing the interlocutor to feel confident and free in your company.
- Use of knowledge and erudition– no less important point. It is easier for a person with a large stock of knowledge to start and maintain any conversation. Communication with such people brings a lot of positive emotions to all interlocutors.
How to be interesting?
If you want to take an active part in discussions, and sometimes even become the initiator of a conversation, it is important to be able to win people over and be interesting to others. The right topic is already half the success. If you prepare for a conversation in advance, read as much information as possible on this issue, you will be well versed in it and will always find something to say. It is only important to provide information in portions and at the right moments, otherwise communication will look like a report.
To make the topic of conversation interesting and convenient for everyone, It is important to clarify whether anyone objects to this conversation, and only then begin an active discussion. The reluctance of someone from the group to communicate may show his poor knowledge in this matter or great self-doubt. If a person does not protest, but does not take part in communication, you need to involve him in the conversation and ask his opinion. Gradually the person will gain confidence and become a participant in the conversation.
Don’t be afraid to communicate with people of different professions, interests, and social status. Over time, you will learn to adapt to any conversation and present yourself correctly in society.
Team communication
In order for communication in a team to be pleasant and easy, it is important to take into account only two main factors. The most important thing is to find an individual approach to each participant in a team or a specific conversation. If you are communicating with people who are new to you, try to exchange general phrases with each participant in the conversation in order to form an opinion about him, determine his temperament type, and learn about his character traits.
When building proper communication in a team, it is important to communicate with everyone at their level (except for people with higher positions). All team members should feel needed and respected. Only then will the communication process be pleasant and successful.
The second point is the ability to listen. We have been able to speak since childhood, but the art of paying attention to our interlocutor is much more important. This is necessary to ensure that the conversation is interesting, informative and enjoyable for all participants. Don't interrupt the narrator. This will give you the impression of being an uncultured person. In addition, your intervention may throw the speaker off course. Respect everyone in the conversation and you will be treated the same.
Dialogue with the opposite sex
Dating a person of the opposite sex requires special skills. Even if you have self-confidence and positive communication experience with your peers, it can be difficult to start communicating with a member of the opposite sex. To make dating enjoyable for both parties, it is important to follow some tips:
- Be natural. Don't try to make jokes or be overly serious all the time. If you want to make a good impression, be yourself. It is sincerity that will help attract attention to you, and then conquer your future soul mate. This is the only way you can make communication lively and exciting.
- When starting a conversation, watch not only the vocabulary, but also the correctness of humor and the topics raised in the conversation. Inappropriate jokes and too personal questions may not only not interest a person, but even push him away.
- When meeting for the first time, keep your distance and respect personal space. You should not hug a member of the opposite sex without his consent. At the beginning of interaction, it is better to focus on building a dialogue.
- When making first contact, it is important to often look the other person in the eye and smile sincerely. This will show your openness, interest and sympathy for the person. This is the only way you can have a pleasant conversation that can later develop into something more.
The process of communication with different people
In the process of daily communication we come across a huge number of people. Different characters, upbringing, social status, age and many other nuances affect the process of communication with each specific person. It is necessary to learn to take an individual approach to different interlocutors, otherwise you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation.
Each person is a unique individual, and this must be taken into account. If you don't agree with someone, don't criticize them right away. Calmly express your point of view and try to find a compromise.
If the phrases or jokes of your interlocutor irritate you, it is better to take the communication in a different direction, so you can avoid conflict. If you start making comments openly, you can provoke a scandal.
When communicating with some people, you should not discuss others. Firstly, your words may sooner or later “reach” the object of your conversation. Secondly, the reputation of a person who discusses and criticizes everyone will not bring you popularity. On the contrary, you will push people away from you. Few people would want to communicate openly with such an unpleasant person.
To communicate better, first, you just need to communicate. Anyone who sits at home and scrolls through the Internet in the hope of learning how to communicate is doing the wrong thing. Go to people and learn to communicate.
Please note: don’t just communicate, but “learn to communicate.” If until now you (suddenly) did only two things in communication - you got angry when the interlocutor spoke beautifully, and you were sarcastic when he was wrong, then continuing such communication, strengthening yourself in it, is stupid. The art of communication needs to be learned, like any other good deed.
How? Break this big task into several smaller tasks and work on each area sequentially. There are many different tasks and areas in the art of communication, and in order to master everything successfully, it is better not to take on everything at once, but to master it in parts.
A good conversationalist is an interesting conversationalist. To be able to joke appropriately, surprise, intrigue, inspire - wonderful skills! This includes the ability to notice the unexpected in the familiar, the ability to play with your intonation, and not mumble inarticulately under your breath so that your interlocutor becomes tense.
Indeed, pay attention to the tempo and timbre of your voice, record yourself and your conversations on a voice recorder (this is convenient for those who have a recording function on their phone) - and by changing the characteristics of your voice, make it so that you like it.
How to appear interesting to your interlocutor and what techniques can help with this is an important topic for many. Master tricks to create interest, but don’t forget about the main thing: you won’t get far with chips, you need to not only seem like an interesting conversationalist, but become an interesting person. This is also possible, it just takes more time.
In the meantime, learn to listen to people. Surprisingly for many, what matters to your interlocutors is not so much what and how you say, but how you listen to them. Some consider listening to be an even more important quality. Stupid criticism, attacks, provocations, interruptions, conflict generators - it seems that there is a ton of work in this area, however, all this garbage can be removed with one wonderful exercise from the Distance arsenal: “If I loved the person who is now in front of me” . All that is required is to ask yourself the question: “How would I talk to this person if I really cared about him?” As if by magic, your gaze will become softer and kinder, and your communication will become warmer.
When you learn to listen, set the task of learning to listen to your interlocutor. Do you know how to hear in the speech of others what is reasonable and useful, what you can agree with, what you can use? When you get used to finding what is reasonable in the words of your interlocutor, you will become more attentive to your own speech: more accurately formulate theses, provide justifications and illustrations, speak briefly and meaningfully.
Having learned to hear and be attentive to the content, turn again to the form, to the task of pleasing your interlocutor. Not just not to stress him out, not just to interest him, but to build communication in such a way that he feels smart, important, amazing. This is the art of a compliment, these are admiring eyes and this is again a voice - a lively and energetic voice.
And when you master all this, think about the meaning of communication. You can be an excellent conversationalist and occupy many hours of your life with sweet and exciting communication, taking them away from something more important. You communicate - why? For joy. But only? Practice being purposeful in your speech. You say that what will happen? Do you want your interlocutor to do something or not do something, so that he starts doing it differently, so that he praises you or just laughs with you? Sometimes just thinking through the purpose of your statement completely changes both the intonation and the very content of it...
This is how, gradually, you will move forward, rising to new and new heights. And you will soon realize that you have achieved much more than you initially thought: you practiced the art of communication, and gradually became a leader and manager, you became an interesting and great person. Good result!
What is the best way to organize this study? For independent work, see the article “How to work on yourself,” but not everyone knows how to organize themselves. An easier option is to come to Sinton for Communication Mastery or Distance. There will be presenters, a serious program, and many, many observations, tips and opportunities for improvement. Working under the guidance of a teacher and coach is both more effective and more fun.
We wish you spiritual communication!
Think about who you want to communicate with. If you want to talk to friends or family, you can do so on the regular site. If you want to meet and chat with strangers, you will need completely different sites.
Use instant messaging services to communicate with friends and family. If you want to talk to someone one-on-one, you can sign up for an instant messaging program or a social network.
- Facebook is a social site that has an instant messaging program. If you add your friends and family as friends on the site, you can chat with them and exchange messages, photos, and so on.
- Skype is one of the most popular programs for instant messaging, audio and video calls. It is used by millions of people around the world. Skype is available for Windows, Mac, Linux and any mobile device. MSN Messenger recently evolved into Skype. You can use video chat, text messaging and group chat.
- Messaging on a mobile device - If you have a smartphone, you will find it easiest to use it for messaging. You can download Snapchat, Kik, Whatsapp programs. Create a profile - it's free.
- AIM is an instant messaging program. This is a very popular program that is also used by many people around the world. You can communicate with users of this program from an Internet browser or download and install the program on your computer.
You can use instant messaging programs in your browser. There are many sites where different groups of people communicate - those sites are called chat rooms. There are group chats and one-on-one chats. Many of them offer video calling and video conferencing right away.
- Chatroulette and Omegle sites are the 2 most popular chat sites. You will have absolutely no control over who you communicate with. If you have a video camera, you can use it for video chat.
- There are many anonymous chat rooms available on various sites like Yahoo chat, Tinychat, Spinchat and many more.
- Try using Yahoo chat.
Use different programs to connect with different groups of people in different countries. You can use the IRC service - many groups of people from different countries communicate on it on all topics that can come to your mind. This site may be quite difficult for a new user to understand, but over time you will get used to it and understand all its advantages, and also appreciate them. Chat even allows users to exchange files with each other.
- The most popular IRC messaging client is mIRC. You can also use Trillian or Pidgin to connect to IRC servers.
If you are a registered user on a dating site or on social networks, then you have probably had to deal more than once with the fact that it is quite difficult to start a conversation with a stranger - the instinct of “reality” is triggered. What if they misperceive you, consider you intrusive, or think you have no pride?
It’s worth throwing away all these doubts and just sticking to simple rules during a conversation so as not to look stupid. Although, the concept of stupidity is very flexible.
1. Study the questionnaire/profile
So, the first and basic rule is that you need to get to know the person before you enter into a dialogue with him. Check out his profile. Look at the photo - what is shown on it, what photo was chosen, read about his hobbies, pay attention to the spelling, whether he indicated his marital status and other facts. After you make your first impression of a stranger, use what you've learned to start communicating. If you have found common hobbies and interests, then half the battle is already done, all that remains is to write a message and start a conversation, you definitely have something to talk about, at least in the first three sentences.
2. Be original
You can write the words “hello, how are you”, but you are unlikely to be able to stand out from the crowd of other “writers”. Therefore, if you still have the courage to enter into a dialogue, then show originality. Think about what exactly the first message from you should be. Perhaps a playful posing of the question in the spirit of “I see you like alpine skiing, but how do you spend time in the summer without snow?” will help attract the attention of the man you like and thus start a dialogue. You should not start a conversation with the phrases: “What are you looking for here?”, “What are your plans for the evening?”, “I also like to drink” - this is unconstructive and rude. Reputation on the Internet is also a reputation.
3. Don't interrogate
Once you start communicating with a man, try to keep the conversation in the spirit of small talk. This means that you don’t need to ask direct questions: “How many children do you have?”, “What is the name of your ex-wife” and “What did you do in the 90s?” Talk about general topics, look at the reaction, evaluate the sense of humor and literacy. You can ask all the questions you are interested in later, when the communication develops into something more, but at first, an attempt to get into a person’s soul will be perceived solely as tactlessness.
4. Don't insist on exchanging contacts/meeting
If during the correspondence a person did not offer to meet you or at least use more realistic means of communication, you should not blame him for this, much less insist on a date. Perhaps he has his own reasons for not going offline, which he is unlikely to tell you about. At the same time, if your plans are real communication, it makes sense to look for a new interlocutor so as not to waste time chatting with an unrealistic man.
5. Don't impose
What is meant by this word? Writing one or two messages a day is normal, but 5-10 is already too much? That's not the point at all. If you wrote a message to a man, but he never responded, you can try again. If the second message was ignored, retreat. The same applies to dialogues. It’s one thing when you correspond intensively, ask each other questions, share impressions, discuss something and “stay in touch” all the time, and quite another when a man answers your messages in monosyllables and once a week.
The main advantage of virtual communication is that you don’t owe anyone anything. You can interrupt the correspondence at any time or, conversely, transfer it to real time. During communication, you have the opportunity to really get to know the person one way or another and get an idea about him in order to feel more confident and relaxed during the date. The main thing is not to be shy, and if you are looking for your love using the Internet, then this is your choice, and that means it is definitely the right one!
Communication is an integral part of human life. Every day we come into contact with many people - family, work colleagues, business partners, friends, as well as complete strangers - in a store, subway, or just on the street. It is very important that it is pleasant for both interlocutors, as well as productive. After all, what is his main goal? That's right, mutual exchange of information, thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is worth especially emphasizing the word “mutual”, that is, each of the interlocutors must be understood and heard by the other, otherwise resentments, misunderstandings, and ultimately quarrels may arise in the future. That is why each of us simply needs to know the rules of communicating with people. What they are, what they are like - we will talk about this in this article, so read carefully, the information will certainly be useful to you.
Shall we talk?
Psychologists say that the rules of communication with people are a kind of unwritten code. He helps to become an excellent conversationalist, whose opinion is always listened to and who is always a welcome guest in any home. is also very important during business negotiations with partners. And in ordinary life it won’t hurt. A person who knows the rules of communicating with people and applies them in practice always has many good friends and acquaintances, he is always welcome.
Down with embarrassment!
But what to do if you absolutely do not know how to communicate with others? Whenever you try to talk to a person, you become afraid, you start to stammer, or you completely forget what you wanted to say. Does this happen? Then listen to our simple tips. First of all, remember the first and most important rule: you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of other people. You can communicate with every person on equal terms. Ask him questions, ask for help, or share information. Communication is a completely natural process for every person, so throw away your complexes and start communicating. You will see that it is easy. And now we will tell you 5 rules for communicating with people. In fact, there are many more, but we will highlight the most basic ones.
Rules of communication between people
So, if you want to become a good conversationalist:
Strangers can become friends
There are also situations when you need to communicate with complete strangers. You came to a party organized by a friend. You are just joining a new team at school or work. There can be many such situations. Therefore, you should remember the rules of communication with strangers:
Remember that the above rules of communicating with people are easy, but they will help you in your daily life while talking to everyone. Don't forget to put them into practice!