Karachentsov was in a car accident. Nikolai Karachentsov was in a serious accident
Being married is an art.
Often family life begins with joy and prosperity, and over time the relationship for some reason reaches a dead end.
And just recently happy wife complains to a friend: “My husband doesn’t love me.” But the husband really loses interest in his wife and almost doesn’t want to go home.
What should a wife do? Is it worth saving the relationship, or is it better to follow the Indian proverb “When the horse is dead, get off it,” and leave the faded love?
There can be no universal recipes here. If the husband does not love, it is not at all necessary that the family will fall apart.
People can be together for various reasons, and love in a family is woven from such an elusive substance that, if you put in some effort, it can return.
Where does love go?
Very often, problems in the family arise when there is no dialogue between spouses. Relatively speaking, the two sat in one boat, but where and how to sail they did not agree.
Everyone in a couple has their own expectations regarding what “set of laws” the family will live by and who will be responsible for what.
Even how to express love for each other is “written” into these expectations.
Naturally, any deviation from the planned program leads to dissatisfaction.
The husband refuses to spend money on entertainment, the wife refuses to devote herself to improving everyday life and creating comfort in the house.
And everyone is ready to exclaim in their hearts: “We didn’t agree like that!”
The problem is that there was no agreement at all.
The tension caused by dissatisfaction with one's significant other leads to the point where alienation begins between people. Of course, something important didn’t happen.
It happens that this alienation appears because a personal, intellectual gap forms between spouses.
People develop constantly, and if one of the spouses has gone far ahead in some respects, the second, as a lagging behind, attracts the partner’s interest less and less.
Moreover, development can go in any direction.
As a result of some life circumstances or personal crisis a person’s values change, and what once united the couple simply disappears.
Signs of cooled love
It is often very difficult to find the exact reason why a husband does not love his wife. You can understand that a marriage urgently needs rehabilitation by the following manifestations.
- The husband stops trying to spend free time with my wife. This sign is relevant only if the spouses previously spent their free time together. For some couples, it is initially acceptable to vacation separately from each other.
- The husband is not interested in his wife’s affairs and is reluctant to talk about his own. A man loses the desire to share anything, talk about work, friends, experiences.
- Physical alienation appeared in the couple. It's not so much about sex, but also about simple physical contacts: hugs, kisses, stroking.
- Your husband has become more critical of you. Love helps us to be more tolerant of the shortcomings of our loved ones. When there is no love, any little things can irritate, provoke criticism or even “re-education”.
- The discussion of joint plans for the future has disappeared from your conversations. Families usually plan a lot in advance. You usually don’t want to discuss any future events when a person does not see a future together.
Sometimes you don’t even need to guess by the signs. If the situation is completely critical, a man can openly say about his lack of feelings.
For a woman, it is very traumatic to realize the thought “my husband said he doesn’t love me.” This means a rejection of her as a woman, which cannot be accepted.
In such a situation, many feelings are born: resentment, anger, a feeling of betrayal.
The bitter word "treason"
The appearance of another woman often causes cooling on the part of the husband.
To be fair, it should be said that, according to statistics, women cheat no less often than men, although society generally believes that this is a male trait.
The goals of cheating are different for women and men. Women mostly cheat out of revenge, men - for the sake of variety.
In a situation where the husband does not love his wife, the appearance of a mistress is an aggravating factor. The woman was not only rejected, but someone else was preferred over her.
However, in this situation, a man is not always in a hurry to leave the family.
What's holding him back?
The situation when a husband loves his mistress, but does not leave, is not so rare.
In fact, dating on the side and living as one family are two different things, and every man understands this perfectly well.
Often, this in itself does not threaten the marriage, because the man does not treat her as a possible life partner and does not see a future together with children.
It’s simply a pleasure to spend time with your mistress, because relationships with her are not burdened by the need to share some responsibility or resolve everyday issues.
In this case, betrayal simply adds color to life.
It also happens that the husband does not love and does not leave. Something other than love may be holding him back.
A sense of duty and responsibility to children, habit, and sometimes property or financial interest. The latter is especially true for couples running a joint business.
How to return love?
When a relationship reaches a dead end, a woman begins to look in horror for the answer to the question “My husband doesn’t love me. What to do?".
- First, you need to think and analyze when and by what manifestations you realized that your husband’s feelings had faded away.
So you can find The best way actions.
Maybe the husband grew cold after the birth of the child? Or maybe the wife devotes more time to her hobby than to her home, and the husband is not happy with this?
In each case you need to act a little differently. The most important thing is for a woman to understand: if events in her life develop according to the scenario “my husband doesn’t love me, but doesn’t leave,” then all is not lost.
Urgent measures!
Where should you direct your efforts if your husband is moving away and the marriage is falling apart at the seams?
- Set your priorities. Today's women are often faced with the choice of “career or home.” For most men, it is much more pleasant if home and family are more important to a woman high position. If you are absolutely sure that delicious dinner and the husband will value sincere conversations higher than the largest salary and regalia - this is the first thing to do if the husband does not love.
- Take care of yourself. Nobody has yet canceled physical attractiveness. Try to look good so that your man will like you, and then others, and in no case vice versa. A wrapped up woman in stretched out and not very clean home clothes does not attract the eye at all.
- Keep yourself interested. Marriage lasts as long as people continue to be interesting friend for friend. Develop, grow, read books, be an interesting conversationalist.
Family psychologists even have a mini-test for happy marriage. It consists of just one question: “How much time can you spend in the kitchen talking and drinking a cup of tea?” The longer, the more interesting the spouses are for each other, the stronger their relationship.
- Find opportunities for alone time. If there are children, a wife cannot always give her husband personal attention. However, it is useful for even the best mother to just be a wife, and, leaving the children to their grandmother, have an interesting time together.
- Speak kind words. You can always find a reason to praise or thank your husband. For men, good words from a wife are a source of inspiration that gives strength for exploits for the sake of the family.
- Learn to dialogue. Most of Marital problems arise from the fact that people simply do not know how to negotiate. At an appointment with a family psychologist, some couples heard from each other for the first time who really wants what. Express your dissatisfaction constructively and don’t expect your husband to learn to read minds. Sit down at the negotiating table and discuss all issues, look for compromises.
These simple rules show you how to live if your husband doesn’t love you. Of course, not only the wife is responsible for happiness in marriage, but if she understands her share of responsibility, it is easier for her to get involved in solving the problem.
For every woman faced with the fact that her husband has fallen out of love, it is important first of all to decide for herself whether she wants to save the marriage?
If yes, then you need to defend your happiness. If not, it’s better to let the situation go. Time will tell how this will end.
Maybe, on the wave of freedom, feelings will return again and the couple will continue to live together, or maybe this marriage will become only part of the personal history of each spouse.
And this won’t be bad either, if in the end everyone is happy.
And the most important adviceIf you love giving advice and helping other women, check out free education coaching from Irina Udilova, master the most in-demand profession and start earning from 30-150 thousand:
Not my favorite
I’ve been married for 11 years, I’m pregnant with my fifth child, and today, after analyzing our relationship, I realized that he didn’t love me at all. I don’t know how to continue to live, I have no desire to talk to him, no desire to sort things out, all the words form a lump in my throat.
Good article... 3.5 years married. My son is 2 years 7 months old. My husband and I are as different as heaven and earth, he is such a boor, I felt that he had lost interest in me for a long time... He always said to get a divorce... It is very rare that he loves me. In general, I went to my parents with my things. And he ascribes to me a lover and did not even apologize for treating and talking to me like I was the last creature. Alimony and divorce are ahead. But I just realized that the psychiatric hospital was close... And I don’t want to cripple my son’s psyche by living with his father under the same roof.
He doesn’t love me, I’m sure he’s cheating, I’m 8 months pregnant, and I’ve had to endure so many things during my pregnancy. There is an older child, she cannot imagine life without her father (((, for her our divorce will be a big stress. He has lost all interest and respect for me, constant indifference and insults, and I am pregnant, I want warmth, care and love, I cry all day long, and so on throughout the pregnancy, but he doesn’t care what to do next.
Lived for 7 years life together. My husband has cooled off towards me. I began to devote less time to my family. He hides his phone. The SMS is deleted. I'm tired of this. There is a son. Because of him, I'm just trying to save my family. But a child is happy in a family where mom and dad love, respect and understand each other. But it’s not like that with us.
Oh God, how gentle our men are, they don’t get enough attention after birth, or something else. But everything is wrong for them. It feels like you have to hang around your loved ones all your life. My position is simple: if you don’t love, don’t, don’t try to squeeze this love out of yourself. And those who walk on the side, I call such men “second-rate.” I feel sorry for those women who forgive such men everything. It's better to be alone than to worry about a man all your life.
Ehh... I read the article, everything is written to the point. Before the wedding everything was fine, after they got married he took off his mask. He constantly finds fault with every little thing in everyday life; if I want to talk calmly, he starts yelling and becoming hysterical. I have a daughter, I’m on maternity leave right now. He loves his daughter, but not me... It’s a pity, it seems we’re headed for a divorce.
In my family from the very beginning there was something not entirely clear... Now I can call it this way: we different people like heaven and earth. But I still didn’t understand why I was drawn to him (. In short, we’ve been married for 7 years, but I don’t know, am I alone or lonely???? And I hate him, I hate him every day...
I was inspired by your words, from now on I will live in a new way. And I'm sure everything will be fine.
Everything is very difficult for me
My husband doesn't love me anymore. He’s silent like a fish, it’s not a royal thing to talk to me. Most of all I feel sorry for the child. We'll probably get divorced soon...
And I'm tired of fighting. No interest. Excitement. There are two children. I live by them. And for their sake. He is a “piece of furniture”. And I don't care at all.
We lived for 26 years. Mixed marriage. He is Russian, I am Ukrainian. She lived with family and children. Work, family, children - nothing else! Raised worthy sons. For 7 years I took care of my seriously ill mother-in-law. There was a misunderstanding, but so that there was intrigue on the side? It was a blow. I'm in good shape for my age. It’s hard, I don’t trust anyone anymore. Betrayed! And he says he loves me. People, I don't understand anything
I'll be happy
A good article, everything is correct and well written, but sometimes it’s impossible to implement (It’s very difficult to talk to a wall; I want to leave, but I have a daughter and she’s not ready for such a turn...
But I’ll probably still get a divorce. After maternity leave, I work again, so I can provide for myself. While I was sitting at home I suffered enough. He didn’t give me a ruble. I didn’t buy anything for the child except diapers. I'm hungry. And he has clothes and booze on his mind. There are 10 pairs of shoes alone.
Everything is very complicated for me too, he treats me well financially, everything decides to have a child, a boy, he constantly disappeared somewhere, his phone was hidden from me last night, I secretly read all his correspondence with women, he dates them, he says that he loves all night I didn’t sleep, I cried, it was very painful, in the morning I told him everything, he listened silently, then he began to scream if you touch my phone again, I’ll break your head, the day passed, I cried, I wanted to leave, in the end I decided to take him seriously, he told me, I’m not saying that you're bad, not beautiful, you didn't do anything, I just lost interest in you, I don't love you anymore, I asked why you weren't like that before after the birth of the child, what did you become, he said it would be better if you didn't give birth to him, I'm in shock, he wanted so much, he dreamed of a son We have a beautiful son, now only for his sake we will live under one roof, only my little angel will hold us, it hurts me very much, advise me what to do, what to do
Many of us women get married a little crazy. Hopes and dreams take precedence over facts and common sense. It seems to us that love will last forever and become stronger and more beautiful over the years. And marriage will decorate a happy relationship with a golden crown.
Unfortunately, statistics say the opposite. In Russia and other CIS countries, about 50% of marriages end in divorce. We are talking about the official termination of the relationship. How much married men And married women live separately? Or together, but unhappily? Love either passes, or it turns out that it never existed.
Perhaps in Lately you also began to think about whether your husband loves you. This is already an unkind sign, although in any relationship there are periods of temporary cooling of feelings. But if more than 50% of the signs listed below relate to your situation, then you can be sure that there is no love.
Sign 1. Your husband is not protecting you.
A man may be a poor breadwinner for the family, earn little money, shirk homework, find fault with little things. But at the same time love your woman. And the main manifestation of this love is protection.
For example, a wife is verbally attacked by one of her husband’s friends (mother-in-law, a passer-by on the street). Tries to criticize, humiliate or insult. Loving man will always take the side of his woman. At a minimum, he will try to take her to a calm place and put her in order. As a maximum, he will give a brutal rebuff to the attacker, even to the point of swearing and fighting.
If a husband ignores such situations and allows his wife to fend off attacks on her own, he does not love her.
Sign 2. The husband does not set unified goals for himself.
All the interests, goals, dreams, habits of the husband are tied to only one person - him. And if you somehow don't fit into them, well. These are your problems, not your husband's.
For example, a man may lose his temper previous job and go abroad, as brilliant prospects await him there. At the same time, he doesn’t care about your feelings and opinions. He is ready to easily sacrifice relationships for the sake of his ambitions.
Sign 3. No sex for a long time
This sign indicates a lack of love only when the husband does not have health or work problems.
If your husband is cheerful, energetic, cheerful, but does not want to be with you for several months, you can be sure that he no longer considers you as a life partner.
Sign 4. Rudeness, physical and moral violence
Love is not compatible with assault and humiliation. If your husband beats you, blackmails you, calls you rude and swear words, forces you to do disgusting things - run before it’s too late!
Sign 5. Lack of jealousy
We all remember that the phrase “jealous means he loves” does not pretend to be true and objective. However, the absence of jealousy on the part of the husband in the presence of obvious reasons (for example, when another man is trying to court you, and the husband sees it) should be alarming. Every man, deep down in his soul, is afraid of losing the woman he loves and considers his family. No matter how confident you are in your companion, your soul will still tingle. At the same time, jealousy does not necessarily have to manifest itself in reproaches directed at the woman. This may be temporary fear, isolation, hostility towards a potential rival.
If your husband is not the least bit jealous, it means he is not afraid of losing you. That is, you are not that valuable to him.
Sign 6. Indifferent attitude
For psychological release, all men need to meet with friends, spend time outside the home, or simply stay completely alone for a while.
Nevertheless, evenings together (at least occasionally), interest in the wife’s life, conversations, gifts and other signs of attention are required. If the husband spends more than 60% of his free time outside the home (or hangs out in in social networks and computer games), never asks his partner how her day was, behaves extremely passively, which means he perceives his wife as nothing more than a beautiful piece of furniture. Or the cleaning lady.
Sign 7. The husband blames his wife for everything and does not admit his own mistakes.
You start nagging your husband: “You’re never home!” And he answers you: “It’s your own fault, I’m just bored with you!”
You: “Why did you deceive me again? It's cruel!". He: “Can you tell the truth? You’ll throw a tantrum for any reason!”
You: “You cheated on me.” He: “What could I do? You dialed excess weight and completely stopped taking care of myself!”
You: “Why did you spend your last savings on a Swiss watch? How can we feed the child now?” He: “You’ve already had enough of it with your child! I’m tired, I want you to take my interests into account!”
And so on. Of course, each incident in itself does not indicate a lack of love. But if your husband constantly reproaches you and believes that there are only two opinions (his and the wrong), then he does not value your relationship. This highest form selfishness. And egoists, as we know, are not truly capable of love.
In any case, it is up to you to decide whether to stay with the person or break off the relationship. But you have to remember one thing important thing. A woman who is not loved by her man begins to quickly fade. Her self-esteem falls, health problems appear, her appearance deteriorates, and interest in life disappears. This state is worse than loneliness. Maybe it’s not worth bearing a heavy cross?
Ekaterina Kozhevnikova
Reading time: 3 minutes
Love is a feeling that is difficult to understand, but one thing is clear - it elevates, makes you do crazy things, gives strength when things get hard. When there is love in a family, all problems seem petty. Inspired by the love of his wife, the husband becomes successful in business, and the other half, showered with his tenderness, only blossoms every year. But there are situations when a wall of misunderstanding begins to destroy the existing idyll, and it is sometimes very difficult to deal with this. How to understand that a husband has fallen out of love or is already close to it, what signs will help determine the lack of feelings for his wife?
Loves or not
If the stage of alienation begins, you should never draw hasty conclusions or persistently try to sort things out with your husband. You need to assess the situation, understand your feelings and your attitude towards it. The onset of a period of insensitivity for one of the spouses does not always mean the end of the marriage. Most often, at least a small thread remains that can save the union.
If a husband no longer loves his wife, some characteristic features The following will help you understand this.
Sign No. 1 – lack of tactile contact
Spouses experiencing a feeling of love cannot do without daily touching each other: light stroking, hugs, gentle pulling of curls, walking hand in hand. If such little things gradually disappear from your life, this is a sure indicator that a man’s feelings are beginning to cool down. It’s really bad if your husband has the opposite reaction:
- irritation;
- attempts to avoid accidental touching;
- the desire to quickly leave the room in which the wife is located.
If you observe this behavior from your spouse, there are two explanations for this:
- Your husband is very offended by you.
- Your marriage is truly at risk due to the lack of mutual warm feelings.
Sign #2 – irritability out of nowhere
A man easily breaks down over little things that he had not paid attention to before: the creases on his trousers were not pressed properly, his wife under-salted or over-salted the food, dust, an unwashed plate...
It gets to the point where reproaches become completely unfounded, claims are made for no apparent reason. Against the backdrop of scandals that have grown out of trifles, the husband allows himself offensive expressions, not paying attention to the hurt feelings of his wife. Often one gets the impression that all this is a reason to provoke another scandal, create conditions in which the wife herself cannot stand it and puts last point in a relationship.
Sign No. 3 – isolation and indifference
Some men, instead of daily scandals, prefer to isolate themselves from household chores, maintain complete neutrality, not noticing what is happening around them, ignore their wife’s requests for help, and if they help, then with obvious reluctance and only so that they are not touched again. Immersion in work is the best excuse for them not to be at home. Such men are in no hurry to get a divorce until their wife, tired of such an attitude, demands it.
Despite the lack of feelings, many husbands are satisfied that there is a mistress in the house who will ensure order, do the laundry and cook dinner.
You shouldn’t immediately suspect your husband that he has fallen out of love, if it comes to little things, maybe the husband just doesn’t want to “pull” his wife over trifles once again. But when your spouse does not ask your opinion on really important decisions that can affect your personal life or the lives of your children, everything is much more serious here. Under normal circumstances, discussed at family council such important things for the whole family as:
- moving,
- repair,
- job change,
- long-term business trips,
- summer rest,
- big purchase.
A loving man, making any decision on his own, will still share it with his wife and discuss all the details with her, allowing her to adjust the plan of action.
Sign #5 – no sense of compassion
How strong a man’s love is can be seen by how he behaves when his wife needs help:
- in what she cannot do without strong male hands;
- when she's sick.
A husband who has fallen out of love with his wife will be reluctant to show compassion, if at all. This is too burdensome for him; in some cases, his “support” may be accompanied by humiliating reproaches.
Sign #6 – Lost sense of humor
Jokes and anecdotes that spouses used to amuse each other until recently lose their relevance in the absence of love. If the wife’s next attempt to cheer up her husband caused irritation instead of a smile, this is another reason to think about whether his feelings have cooled.
Sign #8 – He’s no longer jealous
The feeling of ownership is, to one degree or another, inherent in any representative of the stronger sex. Excessive interest from strangers in his wife is perceived as a threat and makes the husband nervous and sort things out. When feelings cool down, jealousy dulls, gives way to complete indifference, and can even cause the opposite effect - disgust for a dissolute person.
Trying to “refresh” feelings with the help of jealousy can only be done with great caution.
Sign No. 9 – night alienation
When the situation is related to health problems or stress, you need to be patient and help your husband and support him. But systematic excuses, when the husband constantly complains that he is tired, has a headache, needs to get up early tomorrow, as well as late gatherings “at work” indicate that the wife has lost attractiveness for her chosen one and has ceased to interest him as woman. It's even worse when it comes to cheating. Finding out that you have been betrayed is a hard blow for anyone; not every wife will find the strength to forgive such a thing in order to try to return her former feelings.
Sign #10 – loss of respect
Respect is one of the most important components of harmonious family relations. To some extent it gives a feeling of security and reliability. Often people who initially do not love each other (as happens in Eastern families), it is thanks to respect that over time they reconsider their attitude towards their spouse. But if it disappears, a man’s behavior can become unpredictable: insults in front of friends and his own children, ridicule of any actions can become the norm.
True marital love is impossible without mutual respect.
Is it really that bad?
Observation of one of listed signs- this is not yet a reason to panic. A man’s unusual behavior does not always mean that his feelings have cooled and there is no way to return them. The cause of alienation and irritation can also be:
- severe shock;
- Love yourself - take care of yourself, preen yourself and do your hair, even when planning to spend time at home, and not just before going out in public. Beautiful well-groomed wife A woman who meets her husband without reproaches has a better chance of saving her love than a tired lady in an old, shapeless robe.
- Develop yourself - even if you sit at home, this is not a reason to remain stagnant in terms of development, especially if your husband is constantly moving forward. Find a hobby, read books, learn new skills.
A wife who matches the status of her husband, even while at home on maternity leave, will never become boring and will not lose the respect of her husband.
What to do if there is absolutely no chance
If there is no love and a breakup cannot be avoided, let your husband go. Perhaps time and distance will help a man sort out his feelings and everything will work out. If separation does not make your husband understand that he was mistaken, there is no need to humiliate yourself and impose yourself - you cannot mend a broken cup. You need to find the strength within yourself and start new life already as free woman, not burdened with marital debt and full of new hobbies and discoveries. Even when you are over 40, divorce should not be a reason to give up on yourself.
We unanimously decided that we would continue the pregnancy. A son was born. My wife naturally had no time for me. And somehow, unnoticed by myself, I became involved in various types of online dating. I cheated on my wife, I won’t hide it. I did this more than once or twice, but my wife only knows about one case. Before this, I always managed to get out of it. When she found out, she kicked me out with my things. I lived with my parents for several days. Believe it or not, it was such a shock for me, as if a scale had been lifted from my eyes. I realized that I love my wife and son and want to save the family. Somehow I managed to beg forgiveness from my wife and since then I haven’t even thought about cheating. All this happened in October. It's January now. After that, they lived with their wife until mid-December. And they confessed their love to each other and that was it. And they swore too. I promised her to change and I keep my word, I try to be more affectionate with her, I give her the opportunity to take a break from everyday life (I work, and my wife takes care of the child. He will soon be 2 years old). At that time, my wife finished her second studies, I took a vacation to look after the child. In mid-December, she and the child went to her parents. When I saw her off everything was fine, at first they called each other everything was fine, but on December 31 I called her and felt something was wrong in the intonation. Some kind of indifference. I asked what happened, she answered, in general, that she didn’t love me and wanted to file for divorce. During our subsequent telephone conversations with her, she said that she wanted to go nowhere. That the child will remain with her in any case. And many other things that made my hair stand on end. I asked her a question, but we lived well these three months. She responded to this that it was an attempt to return everything, and after leaving she realized that she did not love me. I do not know what to do. I told her about my feelings, but she is not comfortable talking about this topic on the phone. I was going to go, but didn’t do it; I decided that the family’s current expenses were more important. After 6 days she arrives with her son. He says we'll talk. I tried to convey to her over the phone that I needed to think about the child, she said, “What about my happiness?” I am ready to do anything for them, for the sake of the family. I know that in many ways I am guilty before her and before my son. I don’t want to get a divorce, when I imagine our son, how bad it will be for him, I immediately get a lump in my throat. I am very afraid that in the conversation that will take place upon arrival, I will not be able to convince her to save the family. She said on the phone that she wouldn't fight. I said I would. I don't know what to do here. I am ready for any options, as long as there is no divorce. Awareness of the value of family does not come immediately, but it does come. I love her very much, but it’s as if she was simply replaced. Tell me how to behave during a conversation, what to do if I can’t convince her? And how to save a family if this is possible?
Many families face loss mutual feelings- years of living together pass, love dissolves, sensitivity and attention are erased, and everyday life turns into a second job, filled with responsibilities and claims. Less sensitive men are not able to notice changes in their wife’s behavior, because outwardly she smiles, performs usual actions, listens, but inside her a plan has long been matured later life without him. How to get your wife back later?
Men are focused on making money; it is important for them public opinion, social status. They forget to give the wives they have already achieved with warmth, care, and manifestations of love. This is considered the norm of behavior, so the male sex is not able to notice the beginning of problems - they immediately have to face the consequences in the form of “I was abandoned and betrayed.” How to return your wife's love? There’s definitely no point in shouting and blaming her - you need to calm down and consider the situation.
Causes
Why did the wife stop loving? Why did you cool down, if everything is fine? In fact, feelings do not go away suddenly. This must be preceded by a certain impetus - frequent scandals, financial difficulties, heavy losses. The main reason why a woman stops loving her husband is the routine of life - monotony can kill even the strongest feelings.
On the one hand, it’s wonderful to wake up together, have breakfast together, and watch your favorite movies in the evenings. But on the other hand, regularly performing the same actions leads to irritability and negativity. Spouses get so used to it that they become a burden, not a soul mate. A woman needs shocks, surprises, unusual actions so that she feels those “butterflies in her stomach” and understands “they love me.” She is still dear to her husband, and he is ready to surprise and conquer her. Men who take care of their women never have the question “how should they be a wife”?
Men will say that they are tired after work, they have neither the time nor the desire to be romantic, because after some 10-12 hours they will have to go to the office and work again. All they can think about is “they don’t feel sorry for me, they don’t appreciate me.” But other halves do not need daily manifestations of care - it’s enough to come up with something interesting or at least unusual for the family once every 2 months, and she definitely won’t have any thoughts of leaving her husband.
The situation is similar in intimate relationships - monotony will kill even sexual attraction. If the scenario is repeated every time, sooner or later the woman will not stand it. Neglect of a spouse is also the cause of missing feelings - if on weekends a man behaves selfishly, strives to meet with friends, play computer games or do other “own things”, then there is no doubt that in the near future the wife will either immediately report that she has fallen out of love, or scandals will begin. Your loved one should be included in your weekend plans. Nobody limits your freedom, you can alternate between relaxing with your family and relaxing with friends, but the regular absence of your husband leads to indifference.
How to understand that love is gone?
What are the signs that she has truly fallen out of love with her husband? Please note a few points:
- A woman refuses sex.
- She communicates with other men and is interested in their successes. In this case, the presence of physical betrayal is not necessary.
- Change of priorities - her husband is no longer interesting to her, she prefers to meet with friends, go to the movies herself, make plans on her own.
There are also secondary signs:
- I stopped hiding my shortcomings;
- Often unreasonably jealous;
- Irritated for any reason;
- Ignores husband's presence;
- Became selfish, rude;
- I stopped cooking and taking care of the house;
- No longer advised in making important decisions.
These are the main signs of indifference on the part of a woman - how to behave if at least one of the points arises in a relationship? You should take action before love fades away completely!
What to do?
How to return your wife's love? Many men mistakenly believe that it is enough to make a substantial gift, for example, buy a car or expensive jewelry. However, women notice not the amount of money spent on them, but the units of attention given to her. Gave flowers for no reason - plus one, invited to the cinema - another plus, got up earlier and made coffee - another plus. Small actions are remembered by women much more firmly than monetary gifts.
But what to do if your wife has fallen out of love and is determined to leave? Or does my wife say she doesn't love me anymore? It is unlikely that in such a situation she will want to go to a concert or a romantic walk in the park. The critical moment has come, and you need to act quickly, thinking through every step.
Sure ways
How to return your wife's love if you know for sure that you are ready to fight for it? Take advantage in the right ways that will help improve relationships:
- Most effective way solutions to the problem - a frank conversation. You should choose a moment when both partners are calm and have free time, and simply discuss the situation. Try to analyze the relationship together and find the reason why it deteriorated. It is important that the conversation does not develop into another scandal.
- When the wife left and said that the reason for this was a specific action, and the man knows which one, he will have to apologize. You can make amends by organizing a surprise that she will definitely like. If we're talking about about betrayal, then perhaps she will never forgive, but you have to try.
- If your wife has fallen out of love, then she needs to fall in love again! Help around the house, decisive actions, interest in her life and what is happening at work will make her understand that her husband is still the best.
- In order for a wife who has fallen out of love to return, you need to call her for a conversation and listen to all the complaints and criticism without interrupting. The main thing is to find out what exactly doesn’t suit you, so that you can then think about your actions and understand whether the man is ready to change and return her.
- Parting - indeed, if she has fallen out of love, give her the opportunity to live alone. During this time, both will comprehend life alone, and later they will be able to decide whether to get together again or not.
- Help from a specialist - advice from a psychologist during consultations saves 60% of couples. If she says that she does not want to attend such sessions, then you need to independently study the information on this topic, personally go to the reception and try to do everything possible to improve the relationship.
- If no one wants to behave differently, concessions are a psychological barrier for both parties, mutual alienation is felt, then it’s time to part ways forever. It's easier to break up than constantly quarrel.
How to get your wife back? Change everything! If previously a man behaved like an absolute egoist and did not pay attention to his beloved, now he must show understanding. There is no need to constantly remind her of her shortcomings; it is important to listen to the woman, help and support her. After all, you won’t be able to get your wife back if you promise her a completely new life, changing only for a few days. Next time she will leave again, and most likely forever.
Keep or accept?
How to save a family if your wife stops loving you? Before answering this question, a man needs to understand whether he wants to return his wife who has fallen out of love? At this point life stage there are two options for the development of events - to fight for the love of the person you value, or to accept the situation and, as if nothing had happened, start searching new woman. When abandoning your spouse, you should evaluate the entire period of your life together, remember how it all began, how you cope with everyday issues, with raising children. Think about how your wife treats you, how much attention she shows.
If the couple really a good relationship, there are no special scandals, and there is no talk of betrayal, which means there is something to restore. But when spouses suffer together, they constantly present mutual claims, then perhaps you should gain willpower by taking this step - get a divorce. However, you can separate at any time, so any psychologist will advise you to first try to reconcile.