Formal and informal leadership in the organization. Abstract: Formal and informal political leadership
" It talks about a world in which no one could lie. One day, something broke in the brain of one inhabitant of this world, and he uttered his first lie. In order not to spoil the impression of the film, I will not say further and I advise you to watch it to learn about what our world could look like without lies.
And since in the real world there are more than enough lies and deceit, here are a few ways to fight them and bring a person you don’t trust to clean water.
Observe a person in a critical situation
When a person has to act in a critical situation, he cannot dissemble or play. He does not have the ability to use masks, and he will most likely act as his instincts dictate.
People who have been offended by life most often take it out on the service staff. Waiters, cleaners, salespeople - they all get it. If a person whistles or snaps his fingers at the waiter, this is the first sign that your interlocutor is an idiot.
Watch your body language and intonation
It's not difficult to find. Liars can be recognized by several signs:
- Pauses in conversation.
- Averting your eyes when answering a question.
- Changing the topic of conversation.
- They make excuses even when you don’t reproach them.
- Faces are often touched.
Of course, you shouldn’t overdo it and follow every gesture of your interlocutor. But sometimes this little cheat sheet helps clear things up.
Gossip about mutual friends
We love gossip to a greater or lesser extent. And, unfortunately, we often do not know the extent of them. By gossiping about mutual friends, you will see with your own eyes how much crap can come out of a seemingly good person.
Lend or borrow money
And although we have already said that this is the last thing you should think about, but by borrowing or lending money to a person, you can learn a lot of new things about him.
Go on a trip together
Extreme way. If you are already thinking about how to bring a person to clean water, then going on a trip with him is not the best idea. best idea. But after spending some time alone, you will see all his cockroaches.
Tell me a secret
Telling a secret will test a person's ability to keep secrets. If you don't trust him, you can tell him a trivial secret or a made-up secret, just to see if he will rush to retell it further.
Have there been situations in your life when you needed to understand what a person really is like? What did you do?
Find mutual language with a person does not mean fully understanding him. How often people are mistaken in thinking that they understand the intentions of other people! It seems that someone looked askance, which means they are planning something. How to find out how a person treats you? In fact, you need to think less about the impression you make on others - they may not attach any importance to your existence, while you will go crazy with uncertainty.
How to tell your attitude by looking at you
An experienced psychologist can easily distinguish a friendly or hostile person by their gaze, but this knowledge is also available to mere mortals. If your interlocutor is always gloomy, his laconic phrases in your direction cannot be regarded as bias, but if a usually talkative person withdraws when he sees you, tries to leave the room, hides his gaze, he is hiding something from you.
More likely This is something you won't like. Because when a person tries to hide sympathy, he prefers, albeit secretly, to observe the object of interest, rather than disappear from sight completely. Try to catch his gaze by averting your own absentmindedly to the side, and then looking at him in the blink of an eye. If he followed your gaze, he will not have time to orient himself quickly and his eyes will be directed to the point where you just looked.
His gestures will tell a lot
Few people manage to control their gestures and be completely congruent with any situation. In psychology this is called internal dissonance. Most often, it is nonverbal signs that convey much more truthful information than words or even a glance. If your interlocutor assures you of his friendliness and every assistance, but at the same time unconsciously shakes his head, tries to cover his mouth, and often touches his nose, this person is lying to you.
If a man is not indifferent to a woman, his body literally screams about sympathy: his body turns in her direction, his hands themselves rest on the belt, as if adjusting it. If a guy sits next to a girl he likes, then his legs are spread wide apart, as if he wants to wrap them around the object of his desire. And when he wants to please you, his gestures will suddenly begin to repeat yours.
If you are trying to get a person to open up, but he has his fingers, arms or legs crossed, you are unlikely to achieve the desired result - he will be closed and will not tell you anything. A If you offer something, most likely he will immediately refuse.
If you are interested in meeting and communicating with someone, but don't know if you like them yet, approach this issue from a friendly side. No obligations, no serious relationships, just strong friendship. And from it to love, as you know, there is only one step.
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According to statistics, every person manages to lie at least 4 times a day, since the truth often contradicts generally accepted standards of decency, ethics and even morality. How to recognize a lie if not a single modern detector is able to give one hundred percent guarantee that what a person says is not a deception? Let's define external signs lies that will betray your interlocutor.
What kind of untruth can happen?
Often deception is harmless when a person tells a lie out of politeness or out of a desire to be liked (“You look great!”, “Very glad to meet you!”). Sometimes people have to withhold the whole truth or remain silent in response to awkward questions out of reluctance to escalate the situation, and this is also considered insincerity.
However, psychologists say that even a seemingly harmless lie can seriously harm a relationship, especially if we're talking about about understatement between family members: husband and wife, parents and children. It is difficult to achieve mutual trust and maintain strong family ties in such circumstances, so it is important to know how to recognize the lies of a man, woman or child.
Observations by specialists in the field of psychology have shown certain results that relate to deception in the family:
- despite their outward openness to their interlocutor, extroverts are more prone to lies than introverts;
- children quickly learn to lie in authoritarian families, and they do it often and masterfully;
- parents who behave gently towards their child notice lies immediately, since he rarely deceives and lies uncertainly;
- the female sex is prone to deception when it comes to everyday things - they hide the price of purchased goods, do not tell about broken cup or a burnt dish, etc.;
- Men are characterized by understatement in matters of relationships, they hide their dissatisfaction with their partners, have mistresses and confidently lie about their fidelity.
How to learn to recognize a lie?
To prevent the development of complex family relations built on deception, infidelity and understatement, it is important to learn to understand sincerity. Often the ability to expose a deceiver is a natural talent of a person who intuitively knows how to recognize a lie by facial expressions, gestures or intonation of the interlocutor. Helps him with this life experience communication with liars, or natural observation.
This does not mean that anyone cannot spot deception without the appropriate experience or talent. Currently, psychology has established some verbal and nonverbal signs of information distortion that are typical for most people. Thanks to a well-developed methodology based on understanding such signals, each person will be able to develop the ability to recognize insincerity. Let's find out what can reveal a liar.
Many people would like to know how to determine a person’s character traits, because character directly affects behavior and communication with other people. And the sooner you manage to discern it, the easier it will be to build a relationship with the person you are interested in, which in turn can have a beneficial effect on your business or personal life.
How to determine your character type
A person's character is made up of various personality traits. It should be noted that all people are divided into two main types. These types are extroverts and introverts. They are defined very simply: introverts are always reserved, they refuse noisy companies and prefer to be alone. Extroverts are the complete opposite. They love noise and crowds, are always the center of attention and are not afraid to show their emotions. After you decide on the type, you should pay attention to the person’s behavior in small things. This will help confirm that you made the right choice. - Introverts are seen as melancholic and phlegmatic. At first glance, they seem to be calm and completely balanced people. Introverts close themselves off prying eyes, they are closed and do not show their emotions. You can notice sadness in them, constant self-pity, but at the same time they will never tell you about their experiences. These signs relate to melancholic people. As for phlegmatic people, they are somewhat similar to melancholic people, but they are distinguished by extreme slowness in actions, reasoning, speech and gait. They carefully think through every action they are going to take, and besides this, phlegmatic people try to stay at home so as not to encounter too much active people. Phlegmatic people are ideally suited for unhurried, painstaking work, which no other psychotype can cope with. - Extroverts are choleric and sanguine people. These types are prone to activity and even some impulsiveness. Such people are absent-minded, it is difficult for them to concentrate on one thing, so they often refuse any monotonous work. Their movements are active and somewhat abrupt. Cholerics are distinguished by their lack of restraint and harshness. Sanguine people are easy enough to discern in relation to various matters. They try to take on as much as possible and do all the things at the same time, but in the end they run out of energy, and they give up all the things they started at once, without completing any of them. All employers really dislike this character trait, as it greatly increases the likelihood of disruption to the work process.
How to determine character by face
When they say that character can be determined by a person’s face, they most often mean the eyes. After all, they reflect not only a person’s emotions, but also what he thinks about and what he is like. It is worth paying attention to the person’s pupils. In an excited or interested person, they expand. This way you can determine what interests your interlocutor. It should be noted that dilated pupils are most often a sign of positive feelings. But constricted pupils are a sign of something negative, perhaps even distrust of the interlocutor or hidden aggression. When trying to determine character by face, it is necessary to take into account what culture the person belongs to. For example, among the Chinese, sticking out the tongue is a sign of surprise. This means that in this case, you should not think that this person likes to tease. A science such as physiognomy can also tell you how to find out a person’s character. By the way, many of the conclusions of this science are quite simple to draw intuitively. For example, if you take a man with wrinkles around his eyes, he will be considered cheerful and also popular with women. Everything is logical here: women always like cheerful men, and those who smile and laugh a lot easily earn wrinkles around their eyes
How to determine a person's character by color
Every person has their own favorite color, and sometimes even more than one. But by what color a person likes, you can accurately determine his character. - Thus, red shades are most often preferred by active and brave people having a stubborn and domineering character. People who love red are characterized by quick temper, determination, passion and, no matter how strange it may be, gullibility. Such people are prone to private quarrels, as well as conflict situations. - Those who choose pink color, are distinguished by romance, dreaminess and sophistication. Such people are always easy-going; they trust their feelings more than their reason. Main negative traits Such people are irresponsible to work, constantly shifting their responsibilities to others. - Lovers orange color- they are very brave and unusual people, who are endowed with a “creative streak”, and therefore a bright, extraordinary imagination. Such people love to stand out from the crowd; they will never refuse to go to a party. And their main way of communicating with other people is flirting. - Optimists love yellow. They make the most of life, love to communicate, learn new things, and are distinguished by courageous actions. Integral components of their life are risk and adventurism. - Green color- the prerogative of determined and stubborn people. Their character is characterized by balance, straightforwardness, independence and perseverance. Such people are quite successful in business and work, so they often look down on their colleagues and subordinates. - Balanced and calm people choose Blue colour. They are melancholic people who worry about any reason. - A brown shades They are preferred by self-confident people who stand firmly on their feet. These are truly real individuals with a moderately gentle character, patience and enviable calm. - Purple choose decisive and mysterious natures who show interest in everything magical and mysterious. Their character is characterized by extreme selfishness, as well as slight aggressiveness. - Grey colour appeals to people with a vulnerable and shy character. They are always very patient, responsible, distrustful and reasonable. All their actions are logical and carefully thought out. - Soulful people love beige color. They value harmony, tranquility, practicality and quality. In any conflict situations such people try to take a neutral position. - Those who prefer black look at the world with embittered eyes. Such people have a depressed and gloomy character. If you want to know how to understand a person’s character, then read the articles: “
After the appearance of the series "The Theory of Lies" ("Lie to Me"), where main character, like a living “lie detector”, identifies a criminal by the slightest changes in facial expressions or body position, many dreamed of learning to recognize people’s emotions at first sight. It's time to take your lessons!
“The appearance of a person will give you many more clues than you might think, provided, of course, that you pay enough attention,” says French lawyer, author of the book “How to Understand and Counteract Deception and Manipulation Techniques,” John B. Domon.
Discreet observation can be done, for example, as part of a conversation, without arousing suspicion in the interlocutor. The obvious inspection from head to toe feels like veiled contempt. And do not forget that in physical analysis, what is not there is sometimes as important as what you see.
Sources of visual information
Gait and general appearance
"When you are planning to go to a meeting, it is worth following the golden rule: arrive about fifteen minutes before the scheduled time and position yourself in a place where the subject cannot see you. This will allow you to closely observe him without his knowledge. Take a politician, for example Sarkozy. Funny to see the difference in his body language before and during the interview - at first he has a nervous tic, and when the interview begins, Sarkozy tries his best to hide it. Mr. X has the same thing. Looking at the way he walks towards the meeting with you. you will get the same amount of information as during a conversation. It’s just that the two sets of data received will be very different. In the first case, Mr. X behaves almost naturally, and in the second he is trying to impress you.”
“When we study the situation during a demonstration, we know a lot before the actual demonstration begins. This allows us to identify leaders, photograph them, assess their potential to influence their supporters, their importance internal problems, if any, defects in their organization" (from the author’s conversation with former employee services general information police).
It seems to me that after you read these statements, nothing more will need to be said. This is how professionals operate, so a good manipulator will begin his analysis even before the object of his interest understands it. He will begin his observation with gait.
Some examples of gait
Free, authoritative gait
This is a person who does not allow his surroundings to distract him from his intended goal, who has made an appointment and decisively goes to it. He has a specific goal: to arrive on time. Hypothesis: this is a person who is able to take responsibility in quite a few matters.
The gait is uniform, but the person constantly turns
This is the walk of people who stare at their shadow, let's "acquit the defendant for lack of evidence." Hypothesis: either he is a slightly absent-minded person, or he has a fairly high libido and is always ready for various love adventures.
Carefree, somewhat slow gait, man walking with his head down
Hypothesis: the subject is thinking about something of his own, he is excited, passive or feels bad.
Nervous gait, useless movements, the person jumps at the slightest noise
The subject constantly tries to meet the gaze of other people. Hypothesis: This person is stressed or very tense and anxious.
When a person arrives at the meeting place, you need to greet each other. The handshake also provides quite a bit of information.
Making contact, shaking hands
Quite a limp handshake
Hypothesis: tired, passive person, or, if several people came to the meeting and you are the only one who was greeted like that, it means that you are not of any interest to the object at this meeting.
A handshake where a person latches on to your hand like an eagle to its prey.
Hypothesis: He decided to break your fingers, a deliberate tactic, a social manifestation of confrontation. Mistrust.
Taking you by one hand, the person places the other hand on your shoulder
Hypothesis: either the object is evaluating you, or there is another manipulator in front of you. In both cases, great pleasure awaits you from communicating with him.
A man takes your hand with both hands
Hypothesis: he intends to ask you for something, to tell you something.
These observations, made at the very beginning of the meeting (and you have used many of the methods presented above to "scan" your interlocutor), will allow you to understand whether the behavior you analyzed without his knowledge corresponds to what he demonstrates to you in further.
If the behavior before and after the meeting is the same, you should check your first observations and can continue the analysis. Otherwise, it becomes clear that this person respects you enough (as an ally or as an adversary) to hide their natural behavior from you.
"Similarly, when you say goodbye, you shouldn't leave immediately, but you should go to your observation post and see how this person will behave after breaking up with you. Has his behavior changed? If so, how does this relate to your conversation? Has the subject returned to his usual behavior? All this is the daily bread of the intelligence officer, mentalist or illusionist - they all collect information without the knowledge of the other person.
If you are accompanied by an object of your interest, the method is the same.
Gait observations
A man walks next to you with his head down
Hypothesis: His behavior shows that he weak person or is hiding something.
The person walks at the same rhythm as you, looking straight ahead, nothing around him interests him
Hypothesis: the subject is excited, but does not want to show it. He thinks about something of his own or concentrates only on the conversation, perhaps his auditory memory dominates.
A man walks with his hands in his pockets
Hypothesis: Contrary to popular belief, hands stuck in pockets do not indicate a lack of self-confidence, rather the opposite. This person is relaxed and takes the most comfortable position.
A man walks, trying to impose his rhythm on you
Hypothesis: this is a person who is used to dominating, he is only interested in what he can get from you.
Watching the Eyes
Circles under the eyes will immediately tell you that a person did not get enough sleep. Meanwhile, bags under the eyes will tell a lot more. For some people, bruises under the eyes are completely unrelated to insomnia, while bags under the eyes will kill their owner. If they are “heavy” and, in addition, the subject’s face is swollen, not to say bloated, then most likely this indicates the use of one of two substances: alcohol or marijuana.
Alcoholism is confirmed by such recognizable signs as bad breath, a characteristic complexion and premature aging.
Of course, reddened eyes may simply indicate that the person has recently cried - "it's obvious, Watson."
In any case, the condition of a person's eyes immediately shows whether he is under stress, and whether he is taking toxic drugs or not.
If a person wears glasses, you should definitely pay attention to them. In the past, many people refused to wear contact lenses because they thought their eyes were too sensitive. The same can be said about body hair removal or Botox injections.
Dental monitoring
Due to the high cost of dental services, people with beautiful teeth come from fairly wealthy backgrounds whose representatives can afford it. On the contrary, a person with a pleasant appearance who is missing a tooth and who is forced to smile in order to hide this defect clearly does not have the money to go to the dentist.
Another important indication: which tooth is missing? It all depends on age. Let's take as an example a man about forty years old: natural evolution suggests that the outer teeth will fall out first because they are more at risk of tooth decay or infection. If the missing or missing tooth is located in the front, you can almost certainly say that it was lost in an accident, fall or argument.
Surprisingly straight teeth indicate that the person has undoubtedly used the services of an orthodontist in the past. This relatively expensive intervention is most often performed in youth and reflects the financial capabilities of his parents. Naturally, black spots on the teeth indicate that your interlocutor is or was a smoker.
Hand Observation
Location wristwatch is very important and can give you some signs that, however, can lead you to the wrong trail, so don’t rush to draw premature conclusions. For example, the classic postulate: a person who wears a watch right hand, - left-handed. But if you encounter an accordion player (rarely, I know), be aware that a watch on his right hand will interfere with his playing. The same is true for some others musical instruments, for example, violins.
Naturally, clean nails - important detail, which cannot be missed. A person with a manicure has the means to take care of it. Sometimes, however, appearances are deceiving. For example, singer Serge Ginsburg dressed rather casually and dirty. But if you look at the pictures where his hands are visible, you will see that he has a manicure. Ginsburg invented the role for himself - this is no secret to anyone, but such small details make it possible to understand to what extent this person differed from how he appeared to the public.
White nails are often a sign of anemia. Yellow nails, especially on the index and thumb, they say that a person smokes a lot. Purple tint index finger indicates problems with blood circulation. As well as unusual redness and coldness of the hands. Similar problems often occur in women. Nails dotted with dots may indicate some form of eczema or psoriasis.
Hair observation
Naturally, you can only take a closer look at the hair if it is visible. All less people nowadays people wear hats, so covered hair can indicate a desire to hide baldness or, of course, this has become relevant in Lately- indicate religious beliefs women.
Women rarely hide their hair, unless, of course, religion requires it of them. Thus, if a person constantly wears a hat, this is most likely a sign of baldness caused by illness or medications.
You can determine whether a person's hair is colored, no matter whether it is a man or a woman, by comparing the hair color with the color of the eyebrows.
Shoe Watching
Many people who closely monitor their appearance, paradoxically, they neglect shoes. Mainly men. So if you see well dressed man with carefully selected and well-maintained shoes, know that he devotes quite a significant portion of his time to creating an impeccable look. Especially if the back of the heels is not worn down. The average man forgets about them most often.
The condition of a woman's heels will immediately give you valuable information about her financial situation, because heels wear out most quickly when worn, the leather on them deteriorates from any, even the most small scratch. It is much more difficult for women to keep their shoes in order and much more expensive.
These days everything more women They wear low-heeled shoes to take the weight off their feet, but high-heeled fashion is quickly coming back, so don't deprive yourself of material to analyze.
To be continued...
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