Feelings of inferiority provoke resentment. How to get rid of complexes: exercises
An inferiority complex is a set of behavioral reactions that affect a person’s sense of self and make her feel incapable of anything.
An inferiority complex often forces people to seek help and support from others. They want someone to accept their condition and help them overcome difficulties. The complex itself does not allow you to fully develop and realize your dreams and goals. A person simply gets stuck at a certain stage and is afraid to move. It sometimes seems to him that any attempts to find peace of mind are completely pointless. What is the complex and is it possible to somehow get rid of it?
Signs of an inferiority complex
An inferiority complex usually has pronounced symptoms, which in itself should alert you. Such a person lives very carefully, afraid of making a mistake or behaving in some way incorrectly. He constantly tries to live up to other people's expectations. For this reason, it becomes difficult to realize one’s own desires, since there is not enough mental and physical strength. Let's consider the main manifestations of an inferiority complex. What should you pay close attention to?
Diffidence A person cannot make plans or strive to achieve a significant result, because he lacks vital resources. The emotional sphere suffers first. This leads to problems such as: inability to make decisions independently, fear of action, constant tension.
A person is not just afraid to act. He does not know in which area he should direct his efforts so that they give the expected result. Often such a person has a dream as such, but he constantly puts off its implementation until later, believing that he is not smart and talented enough for this. There is a lack of faith in one's own resources.
Due to persistent self-doubt, strong emotional stress is created, which prevents you from living fully and enjoying life. It turns out that a person drives himself into a certain framework and does not allow him to be happy. An inferiority complex provokes additional worries associated with the inability to cope with the situation on one’s own. Gradually, despondency becomes the norm of life, since there is no opportunity to change anything on your own. The complex often creates muscle tension in the body and leads to emotional devastation.
Increased self-criticism
An inferiority complex forces a person to constantly look for his own shortcomings. It seems to him that for some reason he is worse than others. Gradually, the habit of comparing your achievements with the victories of friends and acquaintances is formed. The person is so fixated on his experiences that he does not notice the good things that happen around him. Increased self-criticism interferes with a happy outlook and prevents you from learning to understand individual needs and desires. In most cases, people withdraw into themselves and do not want to take any decisive steps. This is sad, especially considering the fact that a person can exist like this for many years.
Belittling one's virtues
An inferiority complex forces a person to constantly find himself in a losing situation. The fact is that people set themselves up for the bad in advance. They feel like they won't succeed. Belittling your merits prevents you from feeling like a truly integral and self-sufficient person. Such a person does not know his strengths; he sees in everything only manifestations of shortcomings. He wants to receive the support and approval of others, so he is ready to meet their expectations, not paying attention to his own needs. Belittling one's merits is a deliberately false path that leads to wasting mental strength. The person is constantly in disturbing experiences and therefore does not understand where he should direct his efforts.
Inferiority complex in men
An inferiority complex among representatives of the stronger sex is almost always associated with a feeling of insignificance.
It seems to such a man that nothing depends on him, that circumstances are stronger than his own preferences. The complex of self-doubt in this case greatly interferes with self-realization. For a long time a person cannot understand that he is limiting himself. Since it is very important for a man to realize himself in society, he begins to feel unnecessary and lost. He no longer wants to strive for anything truly significant. The inferiority complex in men contributes to self-immersion and fixation on one’s problems. If self-doubt prevails for a long time, then most likely the person will need psychotherapeutic help to solve the problem.
Inferiority complex in women
An inferiority complex among representatives of the fair sex is very often combined with uncertainty about their irresistibility.
Such a woman often cannot start a family, she is afraid to act, to meet men. Over time, she begins to feel more and more that no one needs her. The inferiority complex in women is caused by doubts about their own attractiveness. It is this feeling that makes her hide from life and experience a feeling of uselessness.
Causes of inferiority complex
Extreme self-doubt does not develop on its own. It appears as a result of an incorrect attitude towards life. What are the reasons for the development of an inferiority complex?
Miseducation
Facing ridicule, condemnation or any other negative impression always leaves an imprint. When a person has to go through some disturbing situation again and again, there is a high probability of losing faith in himself.
We are designed in such a way that we always base our thoughts on events that happened in the past. There is no way to enjoy life when there is no feeling of happiness. If you don’t work with negative impressions, then they will constantly dominate the person, not giving him the opportunity to fully work on himself.
Frequent criticism
Criticism from others can deprive you of self-confidence for a long time. Everyone wants to feel that their ideas and thoughts are truly valued and accepted by society. The approval of the social environment is extremely important for the formation of an adequate attitude towards oneself. The presence of such a complex greatly darkens a person’s life and prevents him from fully moving forward.
How to get rid of an inferiority complex?
It is imperative to combat the problem of extreme self-doubt. You need to work on yourself constantly, not from time to time. The complex will not disappear on its own. How to get rid of such a complex? Can I do this myself?
Taking responsibility
Each person creates his own future. In order to free yourself from the prevailing problem, you need to take responsibility for what is happening to you personally.
Understand that there is no point in starting to blame other people for something that only you can change. Accepting responsibility implies that it is necessary to give up the idea of controlling everything, because this is, by definition, impossible. The sooner a person realizes this, the better. The complex itself is the result of an incorrect attitude towards oneself. If you work on a problem correctly, it will soon stop bothering you.
Thus, an inferiority complex is always associated with the fact that a person feels that he is not good enough to accept some benefits. She does not realize her own unique value, does not understand how to realize herself in this or that business. To get rid of the complex itself, you need to learn to think differently. If you cannot solve the problem yourself, Contact the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center for help. Working with a specialist will help you understand yourself and find ways of individual self-realization.
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An inferiority complex is a state when a person acutely experiences his own uselessness, it seems to him that he is defective, and everyone understands this perfectly well. It’s like a stale product that no one needs and lies on the shelf because it’s a shame to throw it away. An inferiority complex is very often the cause of neuroses. A person’s self-esteem is a kind of indicator of mental comfort. When self-esteem is greatly underestimated, an inferiority complex arises.
This condition is the result of a set of ideas with a negative connotation about one’s inferiority in physical and mental terms, in comparison with others. The formation of the complex is laid down in childhood, and incorrect methods of education have a significant impact, when parental attitudes are erroneous and bring a lot of failures. The process is finally formed when the child reaches adolescence and becomes a form of behavior.
But what does complex mean? Psychologists mean by this a whole range of a person’s ideas about himself. They are associated with specific associations and emotions that are united by a single affect.
How does an inferiority complex manifest itself?
In order to somehow compensate for his inferiority, a person tries to excel over other people, and tries to focus his actions on those moments that prove his superiority over others. If you analyze the actions of such people, it becomes obvious that they are very insecure, have excessive vulnerability and a feeling of anxiety. Individuals with an inferiority complex tend to notice mocking jokes and ridicule directed at themselves, but in reality there is nothing of the kind. They show excessive suspiciousness and touchiness for any reason.
If we consider the cause of the inferiority complex in more detail, then the main emotion on which the complex is based can be considered fear. This feeling is dominant in human life. For example, a hungry baby thinks that he will die of hunger, and he is driven by fear. So he screams and cries, trying to get attention.
Later, when a child grows up, there are many situations in his life when he finds himself defenseless and becomes disappointed in his own abilities. Therefore, he develops an idea of himself as an inferior person. If, in addition to all this, there is appropriate parental upbringing, then ultimately an inferiority complex becomes an integral part of his behavior, and constantly haunts the person in adult life.
Is it possible to get rid of an inferiority complex?
The peculiarity of this mental disorder is that an inferiority complex can be found in many people. But, of course, it manifests itself differently in each case, and has its own special reasons. However, there is one way that can help change the situation for the better. You need to take the feeling of your own inferiority as an indicator that something needs to be corrected. It’s quite obvious that you just need to work on your own appearance. A person must learn to treat himself with respect, celebrate existing successes and positive changes. Psychologists say that every person can have a white or black life streak. Therefore, everyone has uncertainty and fear for the situation, and this is completely normal. You just need to learn how to correctly use your feelings of inferiority, and try to change for the better in a timely manner what is especially troubling.
Inferiority complex in men
Many actions of men often remain inexplicable to women. In fact, they are all due to the peculiarities of male psychology. Surely most of our readers see a man as someone very strong, with unlimited capabilities and no weaknesses. But that's not true! Any person can have an inferiority complex, even the most wonderful man. Therefore, knowing in advance the main syndromes that can overtake your chosen one at any moment, you will not remain defenseless against his “oddities”.
Inferiority complex and its types
What is an inferiority complex? According to psychologists, this is a psychological feeling expressed in irrational thoughts about the superiority of other people and a feeling of one’s own worthlessness. Constantly on a subconscious level there is an idea: “I am worse than others. I'm not worthy of anything. I am a loser".
An inferiority complex can form due to a number of reasons. Most often this is due to the characteristics of the parental family. Just imagine: a little person is growing up, and his mom and dad are constantly pointing out his mistakes and inability to do something perfectly. Gradually, he develops a deep belief in his own inferiority. Various psychological traumas received at school have exactly the same effect, for example, when classmates intensely tease a child. If such a person makes mistakes in the future (and this is inevitable), this will only strengthen the inferiority complex. In general, any attempts to suppress individuality end very, very badly for their object.
An inferiority complex manifests itself in the fact that a person is not just unsure of himself - he constantly seeks approval from others, trying to compensate for the low assessments of adults that he previously received. At the same time, he tries to draw attention to his suffering by flaunting it and playing the role of a victim. Such people, as a rule, are afraid of contacts with others - their social circle is extremely narrow, they have few friends and acquaintances. They feel constant tension and cannot get rid of it.
A person in whose consciousness an inferiority complex lives, does everything to avoid the slightest mistakes on his life path, because each of them testifies to his inferiority. Men, on the other hand, are most often characterized by excessive arrogance (remember Napoleon?), increased aggressiveness, the desire to prove their masculinity, and a craving for status things.
At the same time, an inferiority complex can have completely different “faces”. Since the reasons for its occurrence and manifestations can differ radically from each other, psychologists have accumulated a lot of descriptions of various syndromes, at the center of which is deep self-doubt:
- King David syndrome. This biblical character, in order to warm his aging body, lured young beauties into bed. Many modern men also hope to look younger with the help of a young partner. Perhaps some of them manage to start a new life with a young chosen one. But when choosing a very young girl as a partner, a man needs to be prepared for any troubles. Very often, people around them mistake such a couple for father and daughter, darkening their lives with various questions.
- "Boss" syndrome. As a rule, this inferiority complex is built into the character of a future man almost from birth. Parents of children, disdaining “feminine” traits, thereby stimulate the development of “male” traits. It is almost impossible to get rid of the “boss” syndrome, so a man is forced to defend his superiority all his life. For example, 70% of men suffer greatly when they fall under the control of a woman. 64% of the stronger sex have a complex if their chosen one earns more. 58% of men's lives are overshadowed by a feeling of envy of the professional success of their girlfriend.
- Napoleon syndrome. For most men, short stature is a real tragedy. However, this shortcoming in most cases is more than compensated for by crazy ambitions and vanity. Moreover, such people are successful in almost everything, because the desire with which they achieve it turns out to be very great.
- Lost time syndrome. There’s nothing you can do about it, that’s how a person is designed: he wants everything as soon as possible. Therefore, often the need to reduce loads and “slow down” after fifty years of age for 80% of men turns into bitter disappointment. In such cases, most representatives of the stronger sex become even more vulnerable.
- Infertility syndrome. The statement that a man at any age is “always ready” for sexual exploits is nothing more than a beautiful myth that is responsible for the emergence of more than a dozen male neuroses. Every man, the older he gets, is more and more afraid of “not being up to par.” Therefore, any social failure cannot be compared with disappointment in one’s own masculine strength.
- Lot's syndrome. After the destruction of the cities of Gomorrah and Sadom, this biblical character, escaping with his daughters in caves, continued the human race there. Many fathers with adult daughters have something like this:unconscious dream. However, it is quite easy to cope with this syndrome, especially since it manifests itself extremely rarely. And the point here is purely in the instinctive desire of the father to consider his daughter’s chosen one as a rival, and not at all in sexual perversions.
- Hercules syndrome. This syndrome occurs in men who become completely dependent on women who force them to do things unusual for him. By the way, in most modern families this is the main reason why conflicts occur.
- Kotovsky syndrome. Why do you think men shave their heads? Yes, because baldness is like a disaster for them. By hiding the emerging bald spot in this way, they are trying to escape the shame, closely linking it with the loss of male strength. However, in reality - from any point of view - this is absurd. A shaved head symbolizes masculinity, although it is a reliable disguise for the loss of hair on the head.
- Don Juan syndrome. Perhaps this syndrome is the most common. After all, leaving women is “a purely male matter.” Therefore, no man considers breaking up a love relationship to be a woman’s privilege. How can you calm a slightly traumatized male soul? Today everything can be attributed to the rapid development of emancipation.
- Alexander syndrome. Men are most ashamed of this exotic syndrome. Few people know that a man’s greatest fear is that he will be considered not courageous enough, or rather a homosexual. For half of men, even the suspicion of others that they are gay can cause severe stress.
How to deal with this?
If you find at least one such complex in your chosen one, then do not rush to sound the alarm. Psychologists believe that it is not always necessary to interfere in someone else’s life - a person must want it himself, otherwise there will be no point. It is possible that with the help of such a syndrome a man compensates for some of his other shortcomings, and at the moment the mental system is in a fragile balance. It is unknown what else will “crawl out” from the hidden corners of your soul if you now begin to actively “shatter” existing complexes.
However, if it is obvious that in this way a man is very much ruining his life, then something needs to be done about it. First, praise and support your man more often. This is the female function, and our insecure chosen ones especially need it. Emphasize what your partner does well and what he does great. Shortcomings must be reported carefully and correctly, preferably in the form of “I statements”: “I feel sad when you...”.
Most men believe that they need to be like supermen, not afraid of anything or anyone. But this is impossible! Explain to your partner that it is normal for him to be worried or afraid about something. Fear performs a defensive function and helps a person go in the right direction. And those men who do not show it simply hide it deep inside themselves. Usually the situation is further complicated by the fact that a person begins to be afraid of his own fear, because it seems to him a manifestation of weakness.
You can even play a humorous game called “Conquer Your Complex.” When you have discovered what is stopping your partner from living happily ever after, make it your enemy. Every time the complex manifests itself, the man will not have to follow its lead. On the contrary, you will need to do something that will help him “click” the complex on the nose.
Do you think it’s easy to live in the world with such “purely male” problems? It seems to us that not very much. Men are our support and strength, but they also have their weaknesses. So let's not once again darken their already difficult life!
An inferiority complex can be due to various reasons - the attitude of parents, criticism from surrounding people, frequent “failures”. To cope with them, you need to follow the recommendations.
Almost every person knows what self-doubt, a feeling of worthlessness and uselessness are. Often such feelings arise in difficult situations that cannot be dealt with. In other words, an “inferiority complex” appears.
What is it, what are its distinctive features, features and how to get rid of it? Every reader can find out the answers to these questions from the article.
What it is
An inferiority complex is the feeling of being useless to people around you and being inferior. It is he who is the main cause of all emerging nervousness. It seems to a person that he is a defective thing that, if unnecessary, can be thrown into the trash.
If you do not get rid of this syndrome in time, it can cause:
- disruption of family life;
- will lead to personal misfortune;
- will undermine relationships with friends, relatives and loved ones;
- will provoke problems at work and in relationships with your significant other.
Inferiority complex
An inferiority complex is accompanied by a number of symptoms, which include:
- demonstration of certain signals - with their use, a person suffering from low self-esteem wants to attract the attention of the people who surround him;
- another distinctive feature is the lack of communication and contacts;
- fear of committing a crime or making a mistake;
- constant self-criticism, dissatisfaction with one’s own affairs;
- belittling the merits of achieved heights;
- being in constant tension among teenagers.
Attention! In many cases, such a complex causes defects in oral speech.
Lack of self-confidence is the reason for the inability to realize one’s own inclinations. People who seriously suffer from this complex use a “mask” when communicating with others, protecting them from the feeling of their own uselessness.
The cause of the syndrome is doubts about one’s perfection. An inferiority complex is based on one or more flaws in a person. Often they are imaginary—self-made.
The reasons causing the development of the above complex can be different:
- unhappy childhood life;
- negative suggestions from surrounding people. Most may say “you can’t achieve anything, “you’re a failure,” etc.;
- frequent criticism expressed by people who matter in life (older brother or sister, parents or idols);
- lack of luck;
- negative self-hypnosis.
It's surprising that for some people, a lack of self-confidence becomes an incentive for their own self-improvement. They find a way to get rid of inferiority and overcome difficulties.
In men
The reason for the development of an inferiority complex in men is often physiological deficiencies. Males with defects try to replace them by spending hours in grueling training.
Other reasons for loss of self-confidence in men include:
- defective genitals;
- critical statements from a partner;
- failures in intimate terms.
All this leads to the fact that a person withdraws into himself, stops all communication with female representatives, believing that he cannot have a sexual life.
Motherly love is especially important to men. It is this that has the greatest impact on a person’s self-esteem and personality.
A man who did not receive support from his mother in childhood and adolescence will most likely not be able to realize himself in the future.
Psychologists have noted a trend - the development of an inferiority complex in men increases significantly during economic decline and unemployment.
Financial well-being is a reference point indicating a person’s wealth and success. If the need for decent wages is not satisfied for a long period of time, then an inferiority complex arises.
Among women
An inferiority complex in women develops due to various factors:
- Disadvantages of appearance. Often they are absent, and girls are simply finding fault with their appearance. However, the fact remains that most people with complexes suffer because of their figure, face or hair condition.
- Sexual dissatisfaction. A girl always wants to remain desirable; if her partner does not show her due attention or constantly criticizes her, then she becomes withdrawn, and worries about this begin, often leading to hysterics and depression.
- Family problems. It is no secret that most girls want to have a strong and friendly family; creating one alone is not so easy. Due to family troubles, many women lose faith in themselves and their abilities.
- Lack of career growth. Some female representatives do not work, but act as housewives. Many are not happy with this; they believe that they have not been able to achieve independence in life, since they do not have a career behind them.
- Treason. The obsessive thought that a partner is cheating is one of the main reasons that causes complexes.
Alfred Adler believed that an inferiority complex often develops in girls. This is due to several factors:
- emotionality;
- self-isolation;
- rapid mood swings;
- shyness
The child has
A similar syndrome often begins to develop in children. This requires a “push” that will give rise to the development of the complex. It could be:
- Presence of physical disabilities. An inferiority complex often develops in people with disabilities.
- Increased care and guardianship from parents. This does not allow the child to learn to make decisions independently, which is the reason for dissatisfaction with himself in the future.
- Instant disappointment in one's own abilities.
To overcome your isolation and feelings of insignificance, psychologists recommend:
- Get rid of the created ideals, do not be equal to the people around you. Remember every small victory is a personal achievement.
- Don't blame yourself if something doesn't work out. It’s not for nothing that they say that you learn from mistakes, and thanks to them you become stronger.
- Forget about grievances and insults.
- Set yourself several goals, try to achieve them, develop.
Diagnosis and treatment
Diagnosis of an inferiority complex includes contacting a psychotherapist. An individual conversation is held with the client, upon completion of which the person’s level of self-esteem and the degree of his complex are determined. For diagnostics, a specially developed list of questions consisting of thirty provisions is used.
The main method of treatment is that you need to start life from scratch. Psychologists recommend getting rid of all past grievances and failures and deciding what you want to achieve in this life?
How to deal with complexities:
- Try to convince yourself that you are capable of achieving what you want. To do this, set yourself not only global, but also some small tasks. For example, for girls who have complexes about their figure, run 100 meters a day. This is not difficult, but the results will be noticeable immediately.
- Communicate with other people, support them and never be jealous e. Envy is a feeling that provokes the appearance of an inferiority complex. It is not easy to cope with it, but it is within the power of every person.
What to do? In addition to the general tips listed above, it is recommended to engage in sports activities, find an exciting activity for yourself, build a daily schedule and eat only healthy foods. All this together will certainly give an excellent result.
Thus, anyone can get rid of an inferiority complex, if only they want to. It is not so easy to cope on your own, but with the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist it is much easier.
Video: Expert opinion
But sometimes people themselves do not understand what is actually hidden under the usual phrase “inferiority complex.”
In fact, psychologists have identified very specific signs that allow us to understand whether this “inferiority complex” is present in a person or not. Only if they are present can we say that a person has a complex.
Voluntary isolation from society
People who feel inferior try to avoid companies, large crowds of people, and are reluctant to take part in various types of discussions, meetings, and other public events. They avoid speaking publicly and being the center of attention, because... they are afraid of appearing funny. It seems to them that others are much more worthy of attention and respect, so they would rather prefer loneliness.
Coarseness
A person suffering from an inferiority complex subconsciously wants to prove his own worth and worth, and outwardly this can manifest itself in the desire to “cut the truth” in the eyes of his interlocutor, openly be rude to him and humiliate him.
Removing responsibility from yourself
Such people tend to blame everyone and everything for their failures and mistakes, but not themselves. If something doesn’t work out, the people around you, friends, parents, the weather and the heavenly bodies are to blame, but not the person who made the mistake. By doing this, it is easier for a person to perceive himself as generally “good” and his actions as “right.”
Looking for excuses
If someone from the environment of a person suffering from an inferiority complex copes with a task or problem more successfully than he does, the complex person looks for reasons not in the personal merits of the winner, but again in external factors: “lucky”, “that’s how the circumstances turned out.”
Avoidance of competition
Such a person tries not to find himself in situations where his abilities and other qualities will begin to be compared with the abilities of others, and does not participate in competitions of any kind. He does not seek to prove that he can be the best in something, since deep down in his soul he does not believe in the possibility of victory.
Finding flaws
Such a person considers looking for flaws in others to be one of the best ways to prove to himself that he is no worse than others. Moreover, he considers it necessary to inform people about this, gives advice and instructs, thus rising in his own eyes.
Sensitivity to other people's opinions
Such people react extremely painfully to any statement addressed to them, and they are able to perceive even a compliment in a negative way: it seems to them that they are being mocked. Deep down, they believe that they are unworthy of praise and recognition, even if they have actually achieved success in something. A negative reaction from the environment makes you want to desperately defend yourself.
Fear of error
Complex people prefer not to act - after all, without taking any steps it is impossible to make a mistake, and they are extremely afraid of this.
Having realized such a problem as the presence of an inferiority complex, it is better to seek help from a psychologist. Solving it on your own is extremely difficult, because the inferiority complex often has such long-standing and hidden causes that it is simply impossible to find them without the help of special methods.