Argumentation of one's own position. Essay on the Unified State Exam in Russian The author gives an example
Kopylova Tatyana Olegovna,
teacher of Russian language and literature
GBOU gymnasium No. 209
Central district of St. Petersburg
"Pavlovskaya gymnasium"
What is a “comment on an issue”?
A comment- these are explanatory notes, reasoning about the highlighted problem of the text.
It is the commentary that shows how deeply and completely the problem is understood, how the writer was able to see its aspects outlined by the author, and followed the course of the author’s thought.
The volume of the commentary is small: three to four detailed phrases will be enough.
The hardest part is the commentary. Neither retelling nor continuous quotation will work here. The easiest way is to think about some questions related to the text you read:
· Who is the text addressed to (specialists or the general public, young people or middle-aged people, intellectuals or anyone interested in this problem)? Here it would be good to note on what basis you made this conclusion. Why are they interested in this problem?
· Can you assess the relevance of the problem being raised and explain why it is so relevant?
· How does the author of the text approach solving this problem? What life/literary material is the text based on? Is the situation depicted by the author typical? What facts and details does the author pay attention to? Why? What impression does this make on the reader?
· If there are words in unusual usage (metaphors, epithets) that caught your attention, and you understand that it was thanks to their choice that the author managed to convey his idea to the reader, it’s a good idea to pay attention to them.
Comment requirements:
1. The comment must be written based on the text read.
2. The comment should reflect author's train of thought source text.
3. The comment should connect the formulated problem with the author’s position.
4. The comment should contain 2 (two) examples from the proposed text.
What should you not do when writing a comment?
1. It is forbidden comment on the problem without relying on the text you read.
2. It is forbiddenretell read text.
3. It is forbiddenquote large fragments from the text read.
1. Own life experience, observations
2. Historical facts
3. Aphorisms, proverbs, sayings
5. Statistics
6. Literary sources, etc.
The commentary is structured according to a certain pattern:
Composition of the comment |
Examples of standard designs (clichés) |
1. Initiation |
|
2. Development |
As an example confirming the relevance of this problem, the author (full name) gives... Continuing to build a system of arguments relevant to this problem, the author says... and so on. |
3. Conclusion (ending) |
Example questions to help you write a comment on a problem
Option 1(according to the text of journalistic style)
Questions |
Sample reasoning |
Ivan Ilyin draws attention to the fact that short-term, spiritual relationships are often preferred to true friendship today. |
|
The author writes with bitter irony about “friendship of slander”, “friendship of preference” and even “friendship of drinking buddies”: people accidentally bump into each other, “like wooden balls”, and again remain lonely. |
|
4.What is the significance of these statements? (What does the author convince us of?) |
So Ivan Ilyin convinces us that only true friendship, based on spiritual closeness, can overcome a person’s loneliness. |
Option 2(according to the text of the artistic style)
Questions |
Sample reasoning |
The writer reveals the problem with an example relationship between father and son. The author sincerely sympathizes an old father who, at the first call of his son, despite his advanced age and bad weather, goes to the city to be nearby and help if necessary. |
|
S. Tursun expresses regret about the fact that the son did not think about the consequences of his phone call, made the old man worry and set off on a difficult path for him. |
|
3. What feelings of the characters are described by the author and how? |
|
4.What words (thoughts) of the characters have special meaning? |
“Learn, son. It’s a good thing to study,” in these words of the old man the writer invested deep meaning: apparently, Murod never learned true filial love and care. |
There are two types of problem commentary: textual and conceptual (conceptual).
A textual commentary is an explanation of the text, following the author in revealing the problem.
You can specify the content of the comment using the following questions:
1) How, on what material does the author reveal the problem?
2) What does attention focus on? Why?
3) What names (facts, events) does the author mention? For what?
4) What emotions of the author are expressed in the text?
5) How is the author’s attitude towards the subject expressed? How does this manifest itself?
6) What means of expression help to identify the author’s attitude to the problem?
2. With conceptual commentary, the focus is on the interpretation of the problem of the text, its relevance, the clash of different opinions on the issue presented, etc. Find answers to the following questions:
1) What type of problem is this? (Social, philosophical, environmental, moral, etc.)
2) Is this problem relevant today? What is its significance for society?
3) How often do we face this problem? Does it apply to each of us or only to people of a certain age, occupation, etc.?
Typical designs (clichés) for commenting on a problem |
||
Text comment(artistic text) |
Text comment(journalistic text) |
Conceptual comment(journalistic text) |
It is no coincidence that the writer depicts (who, what)… The hero's actions indicate that... The hero’s words (thoughts) show that... |
The problem of (what?) is one of the pressing problems of our time. This social (moral, etc.) problem has a centuries-old history. Each of us has encountered this problem more than once (where, when). |
|
notes, describes, emphasizes, refutes, dwells on..., gives an example of how..., notes the importance, considers, quotes, confirms his thoughts with quotes, relies on the opinion..., analyzes, focuses our attention (on what?), draws an analogy, examines, compares, compares, contrasts, proves, convinces, comes to a conclusion, etc. |
Introduction of quotations into the text of the essay.
In the commentary, as in no other part of the essay, quotations and various references to the text are appropriate. Remember that quotes should be organically woven into the text of the essay, and not just increase its volume. Quoting for the sake of increasing the volume of work immediately catches the eye, since it violates the logic of the development of thought.
However, it is important not only to find a good quote, but also to format it correctly. Unfortunately, failure to incorporate source text information into an essay leads to many errors. Let's look at typical ways to incorporate text information into an essay.
Materials used:
N.A. Senina, A.G. Narushevich “Russian language. Essay on the Unified State Exam. Intensive training course" Legion, 2012
ARGUMENTATION OF OWN POSITION
NOTE! It is not enough to just formally state your opinion:I agree (disagree) with the author.
Your position, even if it coincides with the author’s, must be formulated in a separate sentence.
For example: Thus, the author seeks to convey to the reader the idea that nature has long been in need of the help of each of us.I completely agree with the author and also believe that humanity should reconsider its consumer attitude towards nature.
Your position must then be supported by two arguments. In this part of the work, strictly follow the rules for constructing an argumentative essay.
Reasoning
Thesis
(a position that needs to be proven)
Argumentation
(evidence, arguments)
Conclusion
(Grand total)
Argumentation- this is the presentation of evidence, explanations, examples to substantiate any idea in front of listeners (readers) or interlocutors.
Arguments- this is evidence given in support of the thesis: facts, examples, statements, explanations - in a word, everything that can confirm the thesis.
An important element of the argument is illustrations, i.e. examples to support the argument. For example:
Thesis | A person’s speech is an indicator of his intellectual and moral development. |
Argument 1 | Indeed, sometimes speech will say more about a person than face, clothes and much more. |
Illustration for argument 1 | For example, among my close friends there are no people whose speech is peppered with rude words. I am convinced that every such word carries a “negative charge”. And who would want to hear something offensive to the ears from a loved one? |
Argument 2 | The author’s correctness is also confirmed by the experience of fiction. It is no coincidence that writers have always considered a character’s speech as the most important way of characterizing him. |
Illustration for argument 2 | Let us at least remember Porfiry Golovlev, the hero of the novel by M.E. Saltykov-Shchedrin “Gentlemen Golovlevs”. Judas (that’s his nickname!) does not swear at all; on the contrary, at every step he sprinkles “affectionate” diminutive words (“cabbage”, “lamp”, “maslitse”, “mama”). However, throughout his speech, the hypocritical soul of a man for whom there is nothing more valuable than money and property is revealed. |
Conclusion | Thus, nothing characterizes a person better than his speech. |
TYPES OF ARGUMENTS:
brain teaser, or rational, - these are arguments that appeal to human reason, reason (scientific axioms, laws of nature, statistical data, examples from life and literature);
psychological arguments– arguments that evoke certain feelings, emotions in the addressee and form a certain attitude towards the person, object, phenomenon being described (emotional conviction of the writer, appeal to universal human values, etc.).
There are also other classifications arguments, for example:
rational (logical): real facts, statistics, laws of nature, provisions of official documents;
illustrative: specific examples from life, examples from works of art, speculative examples;
references to authority: opinions of prominent people, quotes from authoritative sources, eyewitness opinions, public opinion.
Various methods of argumentation are possible: supportive And refuting.
At supporting argument the student agrees with the author’s opinion and gives arguments confirming the author’s thesis. For example:
THESIS
The Russian language and Russian culture form an inextricable unity.
__________________________________________________________
Argument 1 Argument 2
The connection between language and culture is obvious to everyone. We must not forget that in
thinking person. It is no coincidence that D.S. Likhachev turning points in history
in the book of essays “Native Land” he called the language native speech, the native language becomes
the main wealth of the nation. In fact, the whole toation. In fact, all that spiritual support that
spiritual culture is unthinkable without language and speech and ensures the unity of the nation. Exactly
which not only create a special “cultural”, I.S. wrote about this. Turgenev in
layer", but also reflect the moral state of the prose poem "Russian Language"
people. (“Without you, how not to fall into despair
at the sight of what is happening at home").
Remember also the famous lines
poems by A. Akhmatova
"Courage", written in terrible
years of the Great Patriotic War:
“But we will save you, Russian speech,
great Russian word." It seems to me that in
this work is especially bright
the idea of the importance of Russian sounds
language for every Russian.
_______________________________________________________________
CONCLUSION
Yes, the Russian language is rich and magnificent,
and the task of each of us is to join
to this wealth and increase it.
At refuting argumentation the student does not agree with the author and, formulating his own position on the problem, puts forward a counterthesis (thesis opposite to the author’s), the truth of which he proves with two examples. For example:
Thesis: In war, the value of human life is realized.
Counterthesis: I cannot agree with the author: very often people who find themselves in inhumane conditions of war generally lose moral guidelines and cease to perceive life (especially that of others) as an unconditional value.
Argument 1: As an example, we can cite the people of the “lost generation” - this is what the West calls young front-line soldiers who fought in 1914 - 1918, regardless of the country for which they fought, and returned home morally or physically crippled. They are also called “unaccounted victims of war.” After returning from the front, these people could not live a normal life again. After experiencing the horrors of war, everything else seemed petty and unworthy of attention to them.
Argument 2: Confirmation of my thoughts can be found in fiction. In 1930 – 1931, the German writer Erich-Maria Remarque created the novel “Return”, in which he talks about the return to their homeland after the First World War of young soldiers who can no longer live normally. Remarque describes the situation in which these people found themselves. When they returned, many of them found craters instead of their previous homes; most lost their relatives and friends. The war made them tough and cynical, destroying everything they previously believed in.
Conclusion: Thus, any war rather destroys all moral values than makes it possible to realize their significance. The history of two world wars serves as a dire warning for all those who think that war is just a nerve-wracking adventure that allows them to more acutely experience the fullness of life.
To prove the same thesis, you can use "arguments for a promise"(contain an indication of the positive consequences of accepting the thesis) or "arguments for the threat"(indicate the negative consequences of accepting or not accepting the thesis). For example:
Thesis
Good speech is an indicator of a person’s intellectual and moral development.
Argument to the promise
An opinion about a person is largely determined by the way he speaks. Good speech indicates well-readness, internal culture, and developed logic of thinking. For many specialties, oral and written communication skills are a prerequisite for professional growth. Any manager, consultant, translator, secretary is required to be able to quickly and competently draw up documents, conduct business conversations, and answer phone calls. Thus, good speech will always help a person of any profession achieve success.
Argument to the threat
Confirmation of the author’s thoughts can be found in the article by D.S. Likhachev “Learning to speak and write.” Dmitry Sergeevich emphasizes that speech is an indicator of a person’s culture, and mentions people who do not speak, but “spit words.” In fact, behind these “spitting words” lies ordinary cowardice and spiritual emptiness. “Speak so that I can see you,” the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates aptly said. Indeed, each of us should think about how our interlocutors see us, what they hear in our speech.
Arguments worth 2 points:
examples from fiction;
examples from journalistic literature;
examples from scientific (popular science) literature.
When giving examples from journalistic or scientific (popular science) literature, do not forget to indicate not only the name of the author, but also the title of the note, article, essay and, if possible, the name of the publication in which this material was published. For example: 1. TV journalist Oleg Ptashkin reflects on the problem of the influence of television on modern Russian society in an article “Trash-TV” published on the websitewww
.
gazeta
.
ru
. According to the author, modern television in Russia is experiencing an acute crisis - a crisis of ideas and meaning. Those who create television programs do not think at all about the public benefit. The journalist is concerned that modern media promotes lack of spirituality and immorality, teaching people the idea that a normal life for the sake of family, children, and success at work is the lot of losers. The author is convinced that the main task of modern television is education: it should teach to honor family, parents, and cultural traditions. Only then will television contribute to the revival of spirituality. 2. People who do not give in to life’s difficulties, who boldly face the truth, are the masters of their destiny. Historian Lev Gumilyov in his work “Ethnogenesis and the Biosphere of the Earth” called such people passionaries. Among them are many great historical figures, famous military leaders, fighters for freedom and human rights, and each of them contributed to the development of society.
Arguments worth 1 point:
examples from life;
own observations and conclusions;
speculative examples;
references to authorities;
proverbs and sayings, aphorisms (given without explanation);
examples from films.
Look more convincing observations of people's lives and society as a whole , since individual facts in such examples are generalized and drawn up in the form of certain conclusions: I believe that empathy and compassion are instilled in people from childhood. If a child was surrounded by care and affection, then, as he grows up, he will give this goodness to others.
Supposed examples are thoughts about what might happen under certain conditions: I cannot imagine my life without books: without textbooks that help us understand the world, without fiction that reveals the secrets of human relationships and shapes moral values. Such a life would be incredibly poor and boring.
ARGUMENT STRUCTURE
2. Logical transition: It is no coincidence that Russian writers and poets in their works repeatedly turned to the theme of the homeland and created amazing images of our homeland - Russia.
3. Argument: A.S. Pushkin, M.Yu. Lermontov, N.A. Nekrasov, S.A. Yesenin, A.A. Blok - all these poets showed readers Russia from different sides, with its advantages and disadvantages, but above all - with great love for their Fatherland. I especially remember the lines from the poem by S.A. Yesenina:
If the holy army shouts:
“Throw away Rus', live in paradise!”
I will say: “There is no need for heaven,
Give me my homeland."
4. Micro-output: This is probably one of the poet’s most striking declarations of love for his homeland, which should not leave us, citizens of Russia, indifferent.
TYPICAL ARGUMENTATION ERRORS
1 . There are no arguments. | The absence of arguments, as a rule, indicates ignorance of the requirements for an argumentative essay and inattentive reading of the assignment for part C. |
2 . The student’s “argument” does not develop the thesis, but paraphrases and repeats it(and therefore is not an argument). | It's hard to disagree with the author. I also believe that compassion is the most important quality of a person, because everyone should learn to help their neighbor and have compassion for them. |
3. Argumentation is replaced by an expression of one’s attitude towards the author, characters, and events of the source text. | I accept the author's position. I really liked the story about the horse described by Yu. Trifonov. It was a beautiful and free animal that everyone admired. The animal did not deserve the cruel reprisal that was inflicted on it. |
4. Own argumentation is replaced by an analysis of the arguments used by the author. Instead of giving his own examples, the student examines in detail the argumentation used by the author. Such reasoning is possible in a commentary or when presenting the author’s position, but will not be accepted by the expert as your argument. | I completely agree with the position of the author of the text: people do not always appreciate historical figures. Firstly, the author cites as an example the fate of the Russian commander Barclay de Tolly, who was not understood and not appreciated by his contemporaries. Secondly, the text tells the story of the titan Prometheus, who stole fire for people, from which they made stew.(Note the speech defect in the last sentence.) |
5. Deviation from the thesis manifests itself in the fact that the author of the essay, imperceptibly for himself, moves away from the idea he is proving, and begins to write about what he knows, and not about what needs to be proven. | I know that not all books are created equal. The covers of many of them are bright and colorful, they promise you unprecedented pleasure. In my opinion, all these promises will not lead to good things, and, as they say, there is only free cheese in a mousetrap. It is so indeed. Such situations have happened in my life. Once they promised me a free prize. I believed in a miracle, but then I had to pay for everything. These are the prizes! ( Disappointment in the “free prize” turned out to be more important for the author of the essay than the logic of the presentation of thoughts.) |
6. The arguments do not correspond to the stated thesis. The lack of ability to construct a coherent, logically structured text often manifests itself in the fact that the essay turns into a certain set of thoughts that are practically unrelated to each other. | I completely share the author’s opinion: a person who cares not only about himself is unlikely to ever be left alone. I can cite the example of the famous writer Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy. During his lifetime he was a count; in his youth he was characterized by familiarity and frivolity. But over the years, people change and accumulate life “baggage”. Towards the end of his life, dramatic changes occurred in his consciousness: he began to live modestly, there were no paintings on the walls. The house lacked the previous rich decoration, but the main thing was that this man was constantly working on himself.(Please note that the author of the essay uses the facts of Tolstoy’s biography very freely, and, in addition, the given “facts” do not confirm the stated thesis.) |
7. Ethically incorrect presentation of arguments. Sometimes, when entering into an argument with the author, students show disrespect for the position of the interlocutor, which significantly reduces the persuasiveness of the arguments and leads to the loss of points for violation of ethical correctness. | So I’ve been sitting on the Internet at home for about a year and in a comfortable chair loading my brain with useful information, and not running around like this author through dusty and inconvenient libraries, choose the Internet yourself or sit in an inconvenient library.(We deliberately preserved the spelling and punctuation of the author of the essay. Judge for yourself: is there really that much useful information “downloaded” into his brain?) |
TYPICAL ERRORS OF STUDENTS IN ARGUMENTATION
Let's look at some examples of unsuccessful argumentation of the thesis “Works of mass literature have a negative impact on human spiritual development”.
Example from an essay |
An essay on a text on the Unified State Examination is built according to a special algorithm: formulation of one problem, its explanation (i.e. commenting with the introduction of two text examples), designation of the position of the author of the text, highlighting one’s opinion (agreement or disagreement with the author), selection of evidence (at least two arguments) from the reader's experience or life observations.
When the problem of the original (primary) text has already been formulated, you need to comment on it, give explanatory notes, and evaluate the highlighted problem. This is the most difficult part of the essay. It shows how deeply and accurately the problem is understood, how clear the writer’s course of thought is.
The following components should be drawn up in one line: one problem out of several - an explanation of it - the author’s position on the same problem - an expression of his opinion on that problem - the presence of his own arguments on this formulated problem. Such a general connection of all components is necessary for the secondary text to have logic, consistency, and accuracy in expressing its own understanding of the primary text.
As a working algorithm, you can use the following scheme:
first problem → highlighting examples from the text on the first problem → the author’s opinion on the first problem → arguments for agreement or disagreement on the first problem → selection of books with examples to support the arguments.
Using this scheme, you can identify all the problems raised in the text and separate different problems into blocks. Thus, several graph lines are outlined in order to decide on the choice of problem for writing an essay. If all the blocks are in place and there are no gaps, you can start creating the essay.
It is best to formulate the problem in the form of an interrogative sentence, and express the author’s position as an answer to this question.
Example one:
Problem: Why does a person torture an animal and condemn it to a painful death?
Example two:
Problem: Does studying the peculiarities of the works of famous people help a person?
Example three:
Problem: What is the difference between geniuses and nature and geniuses from themselves?
Author's position: There are two types of creative activity: through inspiration or through tireless work. Through inspiration, the author, as it seems from the outside, creates with extraordinary ease. A genius on its own makes its way through external and internal obstacles, working tirelessly, constantly overcoming setbacks and failures.
Example four:
Problem: What is true friendship? What is its value?
Example five:
Analyzing the examples given, we see that to the question posed one can and should look for the author’s answer in the text, if not direct, as in journalism, then indirect (how the author would answer, what would he say about it).
Now about the place between the problem and the position of the author the commentary occupies. The purpose of the commentary is to show how the author comes to an answer to the problematic question posed, to name what facts or episodes influenced his conclusions.
Essentially, a commentary is an expansion of a problem in order to clarify and evaluate it. If a problem is a question, then a comment is an understanding of the causes and consequences of what caused the question. The author cannot remain impartial in presenting any facts; he is indignant, indignant, argues, proves, analyzes, criticizes, protests, admires, is perplexed, etc.
When working with literary or journalistic text, look for examples that illustrate reasons (Why does this happen or did it happen?), goals (Why did someone do something or act?), details (How did something happen in detail?), relationships ( How does this relate to other areas of life?). Such a comment is usually called textual. You follow the author in revealing the problem, looking in the text for answers to the following questions:
- What specifically and why does the author focus his attention?
- What names, facts or events does the author mention and why?
- What emotions of the author are expressed in the text?
- How is the author’s attitude towards the depicted expressed?
But there is also a conceptual comment.
For reference: CONCEPT (from Latin conceptus - fight, plan, conception) - a unit of speech utterance, a logically semantic component of its semantic structure; characterizes the act of understanding and its result obtained in communication, thereby suggesting a focus on another; the act of grasping meanings.
Understanding the intricacies of a journalistic text, determine why this problem attracted the attention of the author and what conclusions he leads the reader to. You can find and write down some paradoxical statement or aphorism of the author, explaining the essence of the event, or trying to change some stable opinion, or offering his own solution to the problem.
To introduce a comment, it is appropriate to use speech phrases:
2. Writes with admiration, with pride, with bewilderment. The author is truly alarmed that... It’s worth listening to the author’s words... It’s scary and painful for him to see...
In students’ essays there is often no commentary at all; unfortunately, it is sometimes forgotten. It also happens that a different problem is commented on than the one that was formulated.
When commenting on a problem, you should not retell the text or get carried away with excessive quoting, or rewrite a fragment of the review from task 24. Of course, it is necessary to rely on the source text, but not thoughtlessly. Analysis is preferable here. It is necessary to show what examples the author gives, how he proves his thoughts. In general, what matters is not what the characters did, but what the writer thinks about it.
We must not forget about two examples in the commentary. How to enter them? You can briefly quote phrases from the text or indicate the numbers of important sentences in brackets.
Often the author of the text and the person on whose behalf the argument is being made are confused and are not distinguished by students. In no case should two concepts be replaced: “author” and “hero”. The author can make anyone the narrator: both a literary character and himself, that is, the writer. The hero is the direct character of the work; everything happens to him in the text, although he may even be very close to the writer himself or similar to him with the facts of his biography, but he is never identical to him.
In a word, if the pronoun “I” is found in a narrative, this does not mean that the narrator is the author himself. The narrator and the author may actually have very different positions, opinions, and assessments.
It's time to move on to practical examples. Let's look at some of the students' essays. For their work, they were offered a text by modern prose writer Sergei Kachalkov about Maxim Lyubavin.
We present the text in full.
(1) How time changes people! (2) Unrecognizable! (3) Sometimes these are not even changes, but real metamorphoses! (4) As a child, she was a princess; when she grew up, she turned into a piranha. (5) But it happens the other way around: at school there is a gray mouse, unnoticeable, invisible, and then on you is Elena the Beautiful. (6) Why does this happen? (7) It seems that Levitansky wrote that everyone chooses a woman, a religion, a path... (8) It’s just not clear: does a person really choose a path for himself or is some force pushing him along one path or another? (9) Is it really our life that was originally destined from above: those born to crawl cannot fly?.. (10) Or is it all about us: do we crawl because we did not want to strain our wings? (11) I don’t know! (12) Life is full of examples both in favor of one opinion and in defense of another.
(13) Choose what you want?..
(14) At school we called Maxim Lyubavin Einstein. (15) True, outwardly he did not at all resemble a great scientist, but he had all the habits of geniuses: he was absent-minded, thoughtful, a complex thought process was always seething in his head, some discoveries were made, and this often led to him , as classmates joked, he was not adequate. (16) They used to ask him in biology, and it turns out that at that time, in some sophisticated way, he was calculating the radiation of some nuclides. (17) He will go to the blackboard and start writing incomprehensible formulas.
(18) The biology teacher will shrug:
(19) - Max, what are you talking about?
(20) He will come to his senses, hit himself on the head, not paying attention to the laughter in the class, then he will begin to tell what is needed, for example, about the discrete laws of heredity.
(21) He didn’t show his nose at discos or cool evenings. (22) I wasn’t friends with anyone, but I was just friends. (23) Books, a computer - these are his faithful companions and brothers. (24) We joked among ourselves: remember well how Maxim Lyubavin dressed, where he sat. (25) And in ten years, when he is awarded the Nobel Prize, journalists will come here, at least they will have something to tell about their great classmate.
(26) After school, Max entered the university. (27) He graduated brilliantly... (28) And then our paths diverged. (29) I became a military man, left my hometown for a long time, started a family. (30) Life for a military man is hectic: as soon as you get ready to go on vacation, some kind of emergency happens... (31) But still, I managed to escape to my homeland with my wife and two daughters. (32) At the station we made an agreement with a private owner, and he took us in his car to our parents’ house.
(33) - Only, you didn’t recognize me or what? – the driver suddenly asked. (34) I looked at him in amazement. (35) Tall, bony man, thin mustache, glasses, scar on his cheek... (36) I don’t know that! (37) But the voice is really familiar. (38) Max Lyubavin?! (39) It can’t be! (40) Is the great physicist engaged in private transportation?
(41) - No! (42) Take it higher! – Max grinned. – (43) I work as a loader at the wholesale market...
(44) From my face he realized that I considered these words a joke.
(45) - No! (46) I just know how to count! (47) We sell sugar in bags! (48) In the evening I’ll pour out three or four hundred grams from each bag... (49) Do you know how much it turns out per month if you’re not greedy? (50) Forty thousand! (51) Just think, if I became a scientist, would I receive that kind of money? (52) On the weekends, you can get some money by driving a cab, give a ride to a couple of clients - another thousand. (53) Enough for a bun with butter...
(54) He laughed contentedly. (55) I shook my head.
(56) - Max, but with sugar, isn’t that stealing?
(57) - No! (58) Business! - Max answered.
(59) He took me home. (60) I gave him two hundred rubles, he returned ten in change and went to look for new clients.
(61) - Did you study together? - asked the wife.
(62) - This is our Einstein! – I told her. - (63) Remember, I told you about him!
(64) - Einstein?
(65) - Only the former! – I said with a sad sigh.
(According to S. Kachalkov*)
* Sergei Semyonovich Kachalkov (born in 1943) is a modern prose writer.
Since the test can be attributed to the artistic style, it is important to highlight the characters: the narrative moves from the perspective of the first one - the narrator Anatoly (33-34 sentences “Only, you didn’t recognize me or what?” the driver suddenly asked. I looked at him in amazement.”), who shares painful issues and seeks answers to philosophical questions. Maxim Lyubavin, his former school friend, enters into a dialogue with him (sentence 14: “At school we called Maxim Lyubavin Einstein.”). Here, the image of a military man named Anatoly is immediately separated from the image of the author - writer Sergei Kachalkov.
Let us now define one of the problems posed by the author in this text. The problem of moral choice is immediately obvious, formulated in the 8th sentence of the text (“It’s just not clear: does a person really choose the path for himself or is some force pushing him along this or that path?”). We will answer this problematic question by clarifying the author’s position: a person’s future is in his own hands, he himself builds and destroys it.
Let us present several versions of the commentary on this problem, which were given by different students in their essays on the text.
Example of the first comment:
The author in his text talks about the young man Maxim Lyubavin and his life. At school, Max was called Einstein, although externally and internally he did not look like a scientist. The writer notes that the young man was not particularly friendly with anyone, preferring a computer and books. But soon everything changed... Maxim did not choose the path of a scientist, did not become a great physicist, but took up private driving, working as a loader in the wholesale market.
Example of the second comment:
The author is seriously concerned about the fate of his classmate; the line of his life has taken a strange turn and is not leading at all to where, obviously, he should be moving. The abundance of exclamatory sentences and antitheses indicate that the writer cannot come to an unambiguous conclusion. Kachalkov quotes the lines of Yu. Levitansky’s poem and immediately contrasts them with words from “The Song of the Falcon” by M. Gorky. However, the story about a classmate is just as contradictory. The author notes at the beginning that everyone teased Lyubavin as Einstein because of the obvious habits of a genius who chose books and a computer as his companions. Now the writer remembers with a smile how he and the guys joked about Maxim’s future Nobel Prize. Moreover, these were not ridicule, but prophecies in a funny form. The author draws our attention to the fact that Lyubavin graduated from the university with flying colors, and then their paths diverged. A meeting many years later revealed not only external changes in Maxim (a thin mustache, glasses, a scar on his cheek), but also internal ones (physics has been abandoned, now Lyubavin counts money and calls theft “business”). This metamorphosis frightens the writer, and with a sad sigh he calls Maxim the “former” Einstein.
Example of a third comment:
Discussing the problem, Kachalov turns to the memories of a military man who returned to his city and accidentally met his classmate. He could not imagine that time could change a person beyond recognition and even change his lifestyle, goals and aspirations.
Example of a fourth comment:
The author draws attention to the fate of his school classmate Maxim Lyubavin, “young Einstein,” who was not friends with anyone, did not go to discos, and only studied. Kachalkov tells with bitterness that Maxim subsequently became an ordinary loader at the wholesale market, quitting science after graduating from university, citing the low salaries of scientists.
Each example has some shortcomings, let's look into them. In the first, there is a noticeable confusion between the concepts of “author” and “writer”. The author in this case has a military profession, his name is Anatoly. This is a narrator who reflects on time and its influence on a person, on the choices that a person makes when building his life values and his path. We agree that here the writer Kachalkov gives up his place to the hero-narrator, apparently sharing his position with him.
The same substitution is observed in the second commentary, which is quite extensive, with examples from the text. In it, based on the text, the main aspects of the highlighted problem are freely presented, an understanding of the main thing is given - the author’s concern due to the fact that “a person over time can abandon his purpose and change his previous ideals, replacing them with selfish interest.”
In the third example, you can find a factual error: the surname of the author of the text is distorted (Kachalov is written instead of Kachalkov!), although there is no substitution between the concepts of “author” and “hero”.
The fourth example reveals the substitution of concepts that we have already noted in previous comments. The student forgot to give any examples from the text.
As you can see, among the main errors in the commentary were the substitution of the concepts of “author” and “hero,” factual errors and lack of examples. We are convinced that in order to write a commentary it is very important to understand the text itself, to identify its undercurrents, if you like, to make an analytical diagram of it: who is who and who informs whom, who is the author and who is the hero, on whose behalf the reasoning is being conducted (narration /description) and conclusions are drawn.
In our examples there are elements of presentation, but there are not enough quotes, references to specific proposals, only in the second commentary is the author’s movement from the formulation of the problem to the main conclusions traced, the author’s logic and his system of arguments are visible, in this work all the key points of the problem are highlighted.
We recommend that in your draft, before writing a coherent text of your essay, you make a similar diagram and write down the most important key words and phrases, distinguish which phrase contains the name of the problem, which paragraph involves a comment with two examples, what a sentence looks like indicating the author’s position, highlight the thesis of your opinion and , finally, write down the two compiled arguments in a list.
Since the text is always before your eyes, you must not be lazy to check titles, quotes over and over again, and indicate the numbers of sentences, which can later be referred to in parentheses. When a coherent text is written, you need to establish repetitions and edit them in a position of detachment: as if the text was written not by yourself, but by someone else, and critically evaluate the speech embodiment. Then and only then will the essay turn out good.
(according to A.N. Ostrovsky)
essay-reasoning
In my opinion, one of the main problems posed by A.N. Ostrovsky in the text, is the problem of the significance of writing.
Reflecting on this problem, the author gives an example of the contribution to Russian literature and Russian society in general by A.S. Pushkin. Ostrovsky writes that, having become familiar with the work of Alexander Sergeevich,
Pushkin gave the reader not only pleasure, but also showed how one can think and feel.The writer notes that Pushkin was the founder of “the liberation of thought from the yoke of conventional techniques” because he always wanted to be himself.His most important merit is that he managed to reveal the soul of the Russian person and gave the Russian writer the opportunity to be proud of the fact that he is Russian.
The author's position is quite clear. Ostrovsky is convinced that thanks to the work of creative minds, humanity has the opportunity to join the highest moral values and a fragrant atmosphere,in which the soul and thoughts have the opportunity to develop, rising upward.
I agree with the opinion of the author. The problem raised by Ostrovsky is very important. Indeed, what could be the significance of the work of a writer or poet? After all, he is not a doctor, not a farmer, not a driver.Everything is clear here: without these professions, everyone living on earth would have a hard time; these people feed us, treat us, and transport us. What does a writer do?The answer is both simple and complex. The task of a true writer is to teach, educate, and force people to turn to their conscience to resolve the most important issues of existence.
The above can be confirmed by many examples from fiction.
the main character creates a truly great work. Unlike most MASSOLIT writers, the Master raises deep moral problems in his novel - problems of choosing between good and evil, responsibility for one’s actions, repentance, mercy.This book had very few readers.But precisely because the Master’s book was dedicated to eternal questions, it was miraculously preserved in the fire, because
Another example of how books - writing - make our minds and hearts work can be considered the work of A.I. Solzhenitsyn.His works
and some others raise topics that were discussed in the 50-60s. XX centuries it was not customary to speak.He addresses the problem of mercy and compassion, showing these qualities as the main ones in a person.Because of his criticism (often unconstructive) of the state system, his books seemed to many contemporaries to be a breath of fresh air in Soviet literature and, although some of them were banned by censorship, they were distributed by samizdat.